Tales from the Darkside - I'll Give You a Million

Yes, you’d need to get past a visual manifestation of a soul as almost a small patch of green mist in order to probably ultimately enjoy this early episode of Tales from the Darkside with a particularly gruff and devious Keenan Wynn (not long for the world; he’d die two years later from pancreatic cancer) and weary George Petri as old business acquaintances having made their millions off the misfortune of others. Wynn loves to bring up how Petri possibly murdered his business partner, not keen to join him in an offered opportunity. While shooting (and betting on) pool at Wynn’s mansion, Keenan has an offer for Petri…a million bucks for his soul! Petri doesn’t believe in the soul so he’s willing to agree with Wynn’s proposal, no matter how far-fetched it might seem. When Petri gets a bad report from his doctor on his health, the prospects on a soul’s worth seem to improve a bit. But Wynn sees Petri’s slumbering countenance as profit for him, capitalizing on his desperation, hoping he’ll offer a million accompanying the million he paid him. That seems to be on the horizon if it wasn’t for Petri kicking the bucket before forking over such payment. But Petri does have something for Wynn…even after death!

I like the storm that brews at the end as Wynn receives an unexpected visitor, complete with soul in locked glass case, while rustling up books and papers, making all kinds of noise. The Devil is a frequent visitor to the Darkside, and after already coming for Barnard Hughes in Trick or Treat, the soul-seeking dark angel looks a bit more tuxedo metrosexual host you’d expect to find maître’ding some party in I’ll Give You a Million. He has that insidious smile and glee in the souls he will be collecting this episode’s concluding night. Wynn’s shady antics, a bit too cheerful about Petri’s decline, certainly make him a perfect candidate for Ole Scratch’s company. Petri losing money challenging Wynn’s shots at pool and later attempts to have the contract null and void show how the mighty fall. And Wynn startled at his old colleague showing up with rotted flesh and garbled voice puts him in his place. One of my personal favorite episodes of the entire series. I enjoyed Wynn and Petri losing the most valuable thing in their possession after a lifetime of stealing from so many others, and the makeup for Petri at the end (and the vocal change) might remind Creepshow fans of Something to Tide You Over. Petri does try to give his soul to Wynn so “he won’t get it.” But Ole Scratch “has come to collect”.