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| More remakes...they're hereeeeee |
I hadn’t planned on even writing anything on Poltergeist
(2015) even though I watched it with my wife and kids a week ago. But as we plan to
watch Insidious Chapter 3 tomorrow, I decided to just mention that perhaps it’s
time to stop all this. The film reminded me of how I felt—apathy—while watching
the “remake” (or re-envisioning, whatever) of A Nightmare on Elm Street. I just
felt that there was just no reason to reboot a film that is fine on its own. I
didn’t see anything in the film that cried aloud for an updating, but
creatively bankrupt Hollywood has studios needing to add to the bottom line.
But proof of how mediocre the box office (and ultimately the finished product)
was for Poltergeist might be (you’d hope or think) a sign that this road is
about to meet its crater hole. I went and seen Poltergeist (and will be seeing
IC3 tomorrow) just hoping for a nice little thrill or two. I was hoping I’d be
wrong. Good cast, cute lil girl named Maddie instead of Carol Ann, and a few
special effects that aren’t too bad. But, still, this was such a disposable
movie that will clutter the same shelf as Prom Night (the glossy, empty film
released in 2008). Right next to Annabelle, Poltergeist Remake will sit
occupying its little domain. Jared Harris yet again pops up in a film not
deserved of his talents, but he has to pay the bills, so I don’t hold it
against him. As a celebrity “spirit house cleanser”, it is a flashy part where
he gets to show the son of the house “battle wounds”, while also “lead the
limbo spirits into the light”, behind the rescue of Maddie, assisting a
paranormal research team (the head of her department his ex-wife) and the
family. There’s a clown toy and the house tree used to horrify and attack the
son of the family who gets to be a hero due to his not helping his sister in
her first spiritual abduction. One of those flying contraptions with a camera
will be put to use in a unique way, and the use of the typical “paranormal
tools of the trade” once again show up. But the film, for me, just doesn’t
really do anything to improve on the original. Even its luxury of existing in a
time where money is no obstacle, this remake doesn’t improve upon what was
successful in the original. I look at one scene where Rockwell sees his face “decay
in speed” in a reflection from a sink faucet that pales in comparison to a face
deterioration in the original (one of those touches that is more Hooper than
Spielberg). The tree and clown toy? Same thing. I felt as I was leaving the
theater rather vindicated in my (among so many others) opinion that this long
(too long) period of remaking successful horror films has run its course (into
the ground). I have no one to blame but myself, however. I have no reason to
fork over that much green (for four people) for a film most certain to
disappoint. Rockwell being in this still surprises me as I write this. If
anything, these remakes just assist in reminding us of the films they were
based on. So I will probably watch the Spielberg/Hooper film and think very
little of the remake which was inspired by it. As the Summer blockbusters come
and go, I am quite confident, Poltergeist Remake will fade into the fog, soon
to feature heavily on video shelves, Redbox, and Netflix for a week or two
until that even dissipates. Soon, this film will just kind of exist.
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