Teen Witch (1989)t

Cringe-o-meter charts off the scale. Louise gets all googly-eyed for football star Brad, while cheerleader Randa seems to grab the high school attention. David is the nerdy, bow-tied cousin Randa sets up with Louise. Polly is the opinionated friend always urging Louise to step out of her shell, Richie (Joshua Miller; Near Dark / River's Edge) is the messy, gross, food-addicted bro always obnoxious towards her, and she soon has the ability to use magic to turn her brother into a poodle and make David disappear in the front seat of the car while trying to grab her ass. The white rappers in school who seem to rap all their dialogue and a cheerleader locker room music video breakout are as yikes as the late 80s big hair, loud clothes, and Rubenstein as a palmreading witch who gets bummed out her magic money is all wet, remarking, "Hells Bells." There is a lustful diary entry read in English class and how a condom works along with a chalkboard lecture about those swimmers in Sex Ed. Growing up "invisible" sux, so having access to witchery might resolve some of the teen angst. Lively is an adorable lead and I think the film's best asset is the vibrant score.

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I remember when I was 12 during 1989/1990 so well. I laughed and cringed all throughout "Teen Witch" because the music between like 1988 - about 1994 wasn't exactly great, folks. The prom night dance choreography was something out of a teen bop Dirty Dancing without the sexy. And when Brad has 16 year old Louise in the shack, the dad in me was freaking the fuck out. I'm getting way too middle-aged square.