The Crooked Man

* ½



Syfy's October does often have a few new films to sparingly offered amidst the usual suspects. Typically I watch one kind of in the middle of the month, primarily to stake my claim that I'm not just watching all the old favorites. I do wish to add fresh viewings to the month, and after watching Dracula's Daughter and House of Dracula, The Crooked Man, shown Saturday on the very first night of October, fit the bill. It follows the mold of Bloody Mary and Candyman. The Crooked Man is yet another childhood bogeyman that, when "summoned" by kids looking to scare each other through a creeper with a rep passed down generation to generation, arises to stalk those that called his/her name. Imagine that rickety, stickety man from The Conjuring 2, who seems to crackle bones when lengthening its arms and contorting its body, slightly altered with a white face whose mouth stretches open. It "lives in the dark" and when those it targets find themselves out of the light, it selects them (seemingly when it desires) for destruction.


Michael Jai White is our source of history regarding this bogeyman, how he was accidentally responsible for offering it on the internet for others to conjure it. Olivia (Angelique Rivera) is among a group of kids who summon The Crooked Man, trying to stab it but instead mutilating a friend. Sent away for her murder, The Crooked Man has went dormant, with the others in the house that night spared. But when Olivia returns years later, now a young adult, The Crooked Man emerges from its dormancy to finish what was left in the past. Obviously no one listens to Olivia when she starts commissioning those who were in the house with her that night to heed her warnings to be aware of The Crooked Man's return, with a body count commencing.

You often see faces you recognize in the cast in small roles that feature actors now in the stage of their careers accepting the paycheck. White, for whatever reason, never had the Seagal, Van Damme, Lundren action cycle. He has the look and physical presence to be an action star, but here he is stuck in a role offering information. Dina Meyer is a concerned mother with a daughter Olivia wants to rescue. Amber Benson is not in favor of Olivia being anywhere around her property. Marco Rodriguez is Olivia's frustrated dad. They all appear and disappear until needed for a few minutes...none have all that much to do.

Rivera goes around researching the bogeyman, trying to find a way to stop it, finding a music box in her study, as a cop (Cameron Jebo) and buddy (Reilly Stith) hope to follow her lead and derail The Crooked Man's plans to rip them apart. Of course, Stith eventually just concedes and lets herself be attacked in the dark of her bedroom! Over and over people fall because few take the bogeyman seriously, with the cop's father insisting Olivia be arrested.

People will probably immediately think of Light's Out (2016) while watching one particular scene involving Meyer's daughter (Alexis Wilkins), playing with matches while trying to keep The Crooked Man at bay. The film has bits and pieces assembled from the parts of plentiful other films. A lot of syfy flicks are that way, though. A house just appears, with plankboard walls, disheveled and out of sorts, as sun pierces through until the music box and Olivia's Crooked Man rhyme call for it to "come home". There's this effect I just found quite tacky...as it moves there is this "flicker" that accompanies every movement, as if parts of the bogeyman depart and return like blips on a screen during a bad connection. I find it annoying, not effective. Ultimately, what should be a spooky haunt is a cheap effect that is often darkened only to have moments where it is clearly seen not benefiting it as a terrifying creature worthy of chilling your bones. Rivera isn't too bad as the heroine, though. She's got chops, and her reactions towards underwhelming terrors make up for how lame the bogeyman is. Candyman, The Crooked Man is not. It has the roar down, though. The house at the end is kind of tacked on, but when they are on the inside it is atmospheric enough. It's relevancy is rather inconsequential.