Halloween Diary Doldrums - Grizzly II (1983)

The film is making the rounds on Flix channel

 This movie's marketing really couldn't help itself. This movie features GEORGE CLOONEY, LAURA DERN & CHARLIE SHEEN. Yes, these three are in the film FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. They walk up a mountain, Dern, with her fantastic legs, gripes about mosquitos biting her, George, with that big head of hair, and Charlie, the third wheel without much dialogue besides giving the couple some cave fireside make out time. And brief snippets of grizzly, their looks of horror, and haphazard cutting indicating an attack never on screen.

Who is in the damn movie other than those three? Louise Fletcher, what a great Dragon Lady. That woman will ask for your name after you throw some weight around about her accompanying (very powerful, wealthy) donors, elites out of D.C., not being able to walk through a certain area of a rock arena set up in her park (Hungary setting in for some American park, perhaps in the Rockies) with a smile, and we all know (even if he doesn't) that this guy will be out of a job by the end of the night. When park ranger, Nick Hollister (Steve Inwood), tells her about five people being dead not far from the ampitheater where the huge rock/pop/new age concert will be, Fletcher's Eileene, not blinking or flinching, asks how many know about it! She doesn't want that spread around to the eventual emerging audience and talents on stage (or the crew, for that matter). Much like the mayor in "Jaws", Eileene cares only about getting the rock concert off and running with the money surplus rushing in.

Who else is in this mess of footage cobbled into some patchwork of concert scenes, poacher ramblings, shots of nature (with poignant musack to add a touch of idyll to the frolicking deer and happy-go-lucky cub grizzlies hopping up trees), and quick closeups of raging grizzly face? Try Deborah Foreman, just 21 at the time, as the ranger's daughter, getting to help gofer on Dick Anthony Williams' crew, falling for a musician who arrives, looking as if he would be fronting for "Simple Minds". I am one of those who was absolutely smitten with Foreman thanks to "Valley Girl" and "My Chauffeur". That adorable smile is on display to help brighten the film. Deborah Raffin (who left us due to leukemia in 2012) is the conservationist and environmentalist who wants the grizzly to be shot with a tranquilizer dart, but eventually the bear is able to make it to the theater. However, the bear, this rather poor animatronic head the leftover producer had to try and salvage with certain shots on screen, is in the back of the theater where the fireworks are. So the concert itself, some type of Woodstock like festival, is never bothered ultimately by the grizzly. The grizzly does eventually get electrocuted (we get this awful closeup of fire in the mouth of the thing) when the heroic ranger is able to give it chase. A CAT does tip over as does a truck, and fireworks really lights the place up. But Fletcher never has to worry about any real casualties that will bum her buzz. There's no way she wouldn't get her way in the end. As for Foreman, she has this very minor scene with the singer who returns from his jog letting her know that their brief fling (or whatever it is) isn't built to last. Foreman, who I just get weak in the knees for, drops her head and has that "aww shucks, well, okayyyy..." disappointment, and later talks to daddy about the show. So Foreman has a few minutes here and there, but, overall, is not really in the film much longer than maybe fifteen total minutes.

The film has some well staged "running through the woods" scenes, but you can't convince me damn grizzlies never seen in frame after them would catch them as fast as they were jetting it in. But, in this film, the bears seem to teleport, I guess. You never see the bears and humans together in the same frame, that I can remember. In fact, the poachers are found dead when they hear the bear. One shoots another, then the other three are found dead. That damned grizzly sure knows how to tear people apart, now matter how well equipped and big they are. One of the poachers is a gruff and in-the-wild Charles Cyphers, of "Halloween" and "The Fog" fame. Marc Alaimo (known for his work on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and Jack Starrett (the bastard cop in "First Blood" who pushes Rambo too far) are also among the poachers who yap a hell of a lot, even preparing a pit for the bear they fail to kill. 

The cut of the film I watched was 74 minutes long, so I think it was cut of some music scenes. What remains is stitched-together scenes I believe the producer really tried to make sense of...I figure she did the best she could. Suzanne Nagy getting to even give us what is now available is probably a small miracle. 1/5

John Rhys-Davies as Bouchard, a French bear hunter with his own code and philosophy, speaking in "Tarzan", really grinds Raffin's gears, while Ian McNeice works on the theater staff for Williams.