Trying to keep me spirits about me

 Typically the 25th is a pleasant time of year, but this year in horrible 2020, my mother and stepfather were stricken by Covid while the latter was in the hospital having surgery. Right now my mother is sick and recovering while my stepfather is in the hospital holding it together in the hopes he won't be put in the ICU. On Christmas Day, no less. Whoever is responsible for Covid, fuck you royally. You have destroyed countless lives and ruined so many people. I rarely wish anything upon anyone, but a special place in whatever hell anyone believes in for those responsible for Covid and the destruction of so many lives.

I have already watched "Scrooge" (1951) last night before bed, but with some depression and not getting to spend time with my mother this year, I have slept on and off while leaving this (and the FX version with Guy Pearce) on throughout last night, early morning, and today. I watched the color version of "Scrooge" from my VCI DVD last night but the Fox Movie Channel has a much better B&W version so I have watched bits and pieces (this afternoon's almost all of it) of it again today. 

To whatever you believe, merry that. I do celebrate Christmas but this year I have been blah. I can only hope 2021 is just at the very least infinitesimally better than 2020. Any better than this suckass year will be preferred.

In "Scrooge", what gets me every time is the death of Fan and how Scrooge realizes at his advanced age what she requested of him right before gasping her last live breath. He wanted nothing to do with that bedside visit, but he did need to see what he missed as a young man. Fred, who was disavowed by Scrooge, deserved a chance for love from someone who could have been a father to him. Good to see the film show that Scrooge could very well be that. I think the 1951 film always provokes a great point that is often lost in other versions...the loss of Fan drives Scrooge towards his inevitable path, embracing greed instead of love because he felt that he would only lose what he could have no control over.