Remakes and All That

 

The Barb of the remake of Bob Clark's "Black Christmas" (1974) is played by Crystal Lowe in Glen Morgan's own 2006 Black Christmas. I watched it early in the morning today before finally finding an end of insomnia, and to make sure this film very much stood out with its own personality different than Clark's from the early 70's, there's a monologue about what makes Christmas and all it entails so undeserved of anything festive and, instead, deserving of repulsion:

Christmas is more about warding off evil spirits than Halloween. What Christmas shit in this room resembles anything Christian, huh? It's all neo-pagan magic. Christmas tree, a magical rite ensuring the return of the crops. The mistletoe is nothing but a conception charm. Fifth century Christians jacked a Roman Winter Festival - twelve days in December when the nights were long and the Earth was ruled by the demons of chaos. And fucking Santa Claus? This fat voyeur that watches you all year long to make sure you live up to his standards of decency before breaking into your house. And that is different from what Billy did, how?

The film has somewhat grown on me. I still can't fucking stand the Billy, Agnes, Mama Pederast Incest Back Story. Yuck. But it gives the house these sorority girls live in an icky history they can comment on around the Christmas tree and fireplace. While putting together my Letterboxd review, I thought I would drop just a little bit of something on the blog. The aesthetic with all its Christmas colors still lures me into the film and it has plenty of style to hold me until the end. I still find the additional second ending just a bit too much. You can't let the film end with the house burning Billy and Agnes alive. Nope, you can't let Cassidy narrowly escape them inside the house with Leigh (Cloke) helping to assist her. You have to take the ending into a hospital where Agnes somehow made it out of a tight crawlspace in the wall where a baby carriage and Christmas tree were on fire. I'm guess Morgan and company felt the need to add the hospital sequence to further add some extra punch. Gotta let Billy fall from stories into a Christmas tree impalement on the star ornament, with extra guts. At least, Agnes gets shock paddles to the face. I wouldn't doubt, though, the fucking Weinsteins needed their extra bit of gore. It is of no surprise they were around to make demands. And the "flesh cookies" only a mama could provide Billy when the cops arrive and consistent eye gouging (and eating) compensates for Bob Clark's lack of gratuitous violence in his 1974 version. Nonetheless, Morgan gets in where he can plenty of Christmas color scheme, even if it is applied to eyeball munching accompanying bags over heads and glass spike eye socket mutilation.