For those hording toilet paper

Well, I made it through another Twilight movie, as part of a trio I promised I'd watch with my wife (concluding tomorrow night with Breaking Dawn Part I) before Valentine's Day, this one New Moon (2009; Chris Weitz). This one was damn near painful to get through, but I managed somehow. Again, I mocked it, in turn tickling my wife's funny bone because I still believed Jacob was the better fit for the girl. At least she light up a radiated glow when he shows up. When he entered her room, *wolfing* up the tree into her open window. His hair now cut short, his shirt off, I can just envision the libidos of the ladies exploding when he makes an entrance on screen each time. Edward's absence made my viewing experience a bit more tolerable, but the Romeo and Juliet references were embarrassingly loud and not exactly subtle. I did get some pleasure out of Michael Sheen's scenery chewing towards the end; he relishes his role as the feared leader of the Volataire, Aro, and plays its flamboyance and intimidation of power for all the worth such a part provides. Bella just aches and agonizes for her Eddie, and just not far away is another young hunk of a man that I'm sure the girls (on his "team") were pleading in their heart of hearts--and at the screen--for her to embrace him as her new boyfriend. All that lust was so visible to me. I joked to my wife that Bella wanted to jump his bones every time he'd draw near to her; that and she kept referring to his physique. And her eyes kept ogling him; it's so obvious, it's hilarious. I love how "through it all, love never dies" (just threw up in my mouth a little), so Bella, with her BFF vamp, Alice, rushes oversees to make sure Eddie doesn't give up his life because in one of Alice's visions she saw his beloved Bella die. Seeing Bella go through her mourning period for Eddie, and eventual blossoming friendship with Jacob (she really, really, really needed him), all this teen love triangle shit made me yearn for Van Helsing to show up in the form of Peter Cushing to kill all of them. Okay, venting a little. She sees the Native Americans turning into werewolves and was first hand witnessing the tension between the vampires and lycanthropes, so New Moon establishes all that was told to her by Jacob in the first film is legit. I guess if push came to shove, I'd be on Team Jacob because at least they have a bit of personality to them. Team Edward. Team Jacob. Gag me with a spoon.