Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College

Well, the ghoulies return, this time played totally for slapsticky, Revenge of the Nerds-styled laughs, their return thanks to a comic book with text from a medieval book.
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Incantations from a ghoulies comic book open a gateway for the ghoulies to rise from wherever the hell they were imprisoned out of their ghoulies-stylized toilet (yes, a toilet with ghoulie-faced designs). Kevin McCarthy is the professor at a college during Prank Week, getting hit in the back of the head with a sling-shat water bag. Sad. Fraternities are “duking it out” for the “Prank Crown”. Oh, brother. Beta Zeta Theta want to reclaim their crown but McCarthy warns them that if he catches them pulling any shit, they’re expelled. It is chaos on campus as all the students decided to get in on the pranking.

I’ve never seen so many flotation toys (from blow up doll to shark and alligator) scattered about among the scatter-brained students who seem lost in the moment of prankery, running around goofing off and not giving a crap about the fact that their grades will more than likely tank because of the lack of care. Oh, Bri, you’re such a fuddy-duddy. Yeah, I guess I am. Good grief, is this a listless movie. What do you expect when watching Ghoulies III, Bri? That’s a good question. I don’t know why I’m spending a Friday night on this. Got nothing better to do, I reckon.

This go-around, the ghoulies talk, crack wise, and act like the three stooges. The baldy green ghoulie even has the rat and cat ghoulies bop heads. They literally flush one student down the toilet just after he almost bags a babe who was all hot and bothered, prime and ready to shag him into a stooper. Too bad the idiot chose to “check on the noise” instead of seal the deal. McCarthy opened the door all the way, taking the ghoulies comic from a student more interested in its writing than his class’ text. The prof gets all involved in the comic, reading it aloud to himself, allowing the ghoulies to roam free to cause all sorts of mischief and mayhem. They like to call each other, “Schmuck” to boot. The ghoulies are like the gremlins and critters in that they raid food and leave areas in a trash heap. These ghoulies literally dress like students and critique each other’s outfits. Yeah. They even drink lite beer and belch. Good times. Oh, they even take turns guzzling some Drain-X. One of them steams off some smoke after a good dose. The gags just keep coming, folks. They even get in some peeping time as Hope Marie Carlton, as nympho Veronica, performs a striptease in her dorm room. Well, at least the movie has that going for it. It’s some consolation for having to sit through this shit.

Jason Scott Lee: The star of Dracula II: The Ascension!!! Wait, maybe I should have used Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story..

Pizza time!!!

I need all the panties, pronto!!!

Cat's got her tongue.

Veronica's gets plunged!

There’s simply no plot to speak of. Just non-stop hi-jinks. This will undoubtedly entertain some viewers looking for super dumb laughs. There’s a flimsy “prank duel” between two fraternity leaders, Skip Carter (Evan Mackenzie) and Jeremy (John Johnston), both after the same girl (Eva La Rue; prior to CSI: Miami) as well. The ghoulies are basically a diversion at times as the duel continues. Part of the annual prank season is the panty raid where the frat guys steal the sorority girls’ panties for pranking purposes (like hanging them from the flag pole. Nice). Oh, and the college security guard (driving a glorified golf cart he drives with plentiful pride), Barcus (Stephen Lee of Stu Gordon’s Dolls) likes to steal and wear women’s panties, preferably the college gals! The gifts keep coming with this movie. But the girls aren’t taking it lying down as they pillow fight the guys when they attempt to steal their underwear; lots of feathers and tits. And there’s just nothing like watching the ghoulies fighting over Veronica’s bra and panties. Soon the prof is using the ghoulies to steal the prank crown from the Gamma fraternity, with Jeremy believing Skip is responsible. As prof continues to possess the comic he grows more and more evil, soon wanting the ghoulies to kill for him. They kill only three people basically, all in a moment of spontaneity (that means “for the hell of it”), not necessarily at the prof’s orders.

Definitely the WTF?!?! moment in the film

The Prank Crown

Got a beer?

Perhaps he should have used Alan Smithee?

The ghoulies and Skip (and his girl) soon engage in battle with prof as the taskmaster. Something metaphysical happens with prof and the ghoulies “merging” (I’m trying, really I am), turning into some ghoulish (pun intended) human/ghoulie hybrid. Skip uses the comic book in the fracas to upend his foes, dumping it in the ghoulie-toilet. Oh, crap, is this dreck. Eva La Rue winds up on a table with McCarthy, lost into a dementia, hovering over her, the poor girl tied to a table, the ghoulies on the other side. I mention her, because she’s rocking a “Jane of Tarzan tattered clothes” look that is an eyeful, especially with those legs. Sorry, I would prefer to be lost in her hotness than this shitty movie. This movie goes out of its way to keep Skip and his girl at odds then making up, at odds then making up. They are there right at the end, fighting prof and the ghoulies. As should be, I suppose.

Pillow fight!!!!!!!!

For some of the *best parts* of the film, you might want to check out Another Page from the Darkside, a separate page on the blog.