For those hording toilet paper

Twilight (2008

It was Valentines and I had told my wife I'd do the unthinkable...watch Twilight (2008; Catherine Hardwicke) with her. While she swooned endlessly about Edward, and I had to suffer through all the exhilarating emoting from Bella, I could rest my weary bones on the idyllic, picturesque, eyepopping location work of the setting. That was at least significant to me; a consolation, I guess. It went in the usual direction one would expect with Bella moving from Arizona to Forks, Washington, getting used to quite different environs, new students who are a bit goofy and immature while Bella and Eddie are oh so serious and trying to speak to each other. Speaking to each other, just spitting out words, attempting to carry on a conversation seems most difficult for them. If they bottled and sold a personality I would be more than willing to fork (pun intended) some cash just for Bella. Good grief, girl, can you crack a smile without it looking positively agonizing? The first movie is basically all introductory, getting-to-know-you modern gothic romance stuff. They lock eyes, go through the awkward silences, miscommunications, finding a way around how they feel for each other, the obvious lust present, the vampire's hunger for this fresh new piece of skinny meat, rescue from a near fatalistic car crash that would render Bella dead if Eddie doesn't use his vampire powers to stop the vehicle, salvation from a pack of drunk human buffoons who wanted to have a "party" with Bella, "coming out" as a couple, meeting each others parents, and the eventual vampire endangering the heroine.While my wife tried to contain her lust for Eddie, I endured all the lovey-dovey, teen angst, human-vampire bonding because I'm a husband who wanted to step up and be her bitch because that's mostly what we do, right? Just to end this minor bit of news, I personally think Bella and Jacob seem more in tune, and when he enters the picture, she lights up. It is really interesting to watch. James, the human hunter who loves to slay and feed, is a brief adversary to vanquish but all of this "suspense" takes a backseat to Eddie and Bells (as pops calls her) becoming a close-knit item, the hunger for blood be damned. Bells already wants Eddie to puncture her throat and give her the kiss of death so she can be eternally his. I did like the rather discomforting father/daughter relationship; it has a ton of that "stay out of each others way and try to be civil and kind to one another" going on. The mother who walked out on him because she wanted more out of life (with a baseball player) often calling daughter to shoot the breeze and get updates on her adaptation to Forks, however temporary she believes the living situation is. Well enough of that. Time to move on to the horror shit I prefer..