For those hording toilet paper

It's that time of the year when I need to satiate my desire for some Elvira. The last couple years Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) has missed the cut which I would typically in time's past consider sacrilege. Not this year. I found a DVD copy of the film at a Walmart for $5 bucks. Can't beat that. This was on NBC, of all places, when I was a kid, but as a teenager Elvira was an icon. And, admittedly, a wet dream. In horror comedy or as a host, Elvira has few that equal her. And I can't help it: I love boob jokes and sight gags. Elvira never found a boob joke she didn't exploit. But the vulgarity (innuendo tirelessly doesn't quit and Elvira delivers them with the just the right wink and tongue-in-cheek delivery) is more or less kept within the constraints of its PG-13 rating, but just barely. I like to reiterate the just barely part because I found myself laughing out loud at the sight gag regarding the marquee involving a misplaced F and Elvira's contributing to it's effectiveness. Her skimpy dress showing a lot of her flesh and how those boobs just barely stay put lend a lot to the sex appeal and also the numerous jokes Elvira milks for all their worth. The angle with the witchcraft adds a supernatural hocus pocus to it all, but I like this for Elvira specifically and so all the special effects, even the attempt to burn her at the stake, play second fiddle to me. Cassandra's full dedication to the character, her mannerisms, and jazz with the non-stop zingers are my Halloween candy. And she's just so fetching a Gothic heroine...

What is this time of year without her, really?

Bartender: No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?
Elvira: Maybe, but, ah... I'll have a couple of drinks first.

Official review: Click