Wrestlemania XXXII

Can Roman Reigns secure his third WWE World Heavyweight Championship or will The Authority defy his passionate desire to gain access to the top of the mountain?

Overall Show: **½

The Kickoff Show

Ryback vs. United States Champion: Kalisto  ** ½

The first match on the Wrestlemania Kick off Show sadly will be perceived as a footnote and casualty of a bloated event (much like Ryback, who I honestly don’t dislike unlike others). This is the classic David vs. Goliath matchup that has been part of WWE/WWF lore. It is the easiest kind of booking, really. I kind of feel bad for both of these competitors because they were also casualties of difficult parking and tough entrance into the arena. I hope they never do this to their opening roster performers again. It is a major bit of disrespect to parade two capable midcard performers out there to wrestle in front of a small portion of fans as many of those who paid for a ticket to the event were having trouble getting into the arena. So a majority of fans who spent a wad of dough on this event didn’t get to see the entire lineup of matches. Okay, rant over. The match wasn’t that bad to me, and perhaps the NXT fans would have given Kalisto a warm reception and booed the living hell out of Ryback, allowing him to generate better heat. Instead here are two talents trying to warm up a small crowd instead of getting the chance to perform in front of 100,000 fans. As is, Ryback beats up the young superstar, powerlifting him and using power moves to incapacitate him. Then a turnbuckle yanked off exposes steal, Ryback eats the corner, and Kalisto hits his finisher to have his first Wrestlemania moment. It will go away and be forgotten. Ryback has been such a booking casualty. He’s a reason I wish there would be a roster split again, with Smackdown given a different writing team, allowing his type of monster heel to gain an upswing instead of misfit treatment, providing him wins and then losses. He just can’t seem to ever escape the doldrums of haphazard booking.

Bad and Blond (Emma, Naomi, Tamina, Lana, and Summer Rae) vs. Total Divas (Brie Bella, Paige, Natalya, Eva Marie, and Alisha Fox)  **

I must say this wasn’t as bad as I was expecting it to be (hard when you have bonafide talents like Paige, Emma, and Natalya in the ring performing), and Eva Marie (while no Sasha Banks) has improved by a great margin. She is more fluid and her improvement is boasted after every move she completes because she has had to prove herself (she is more than some snobbish red-headed sexpot with success perhaps easier for her than others) to us IWC geeks. She performs a hurricanrana and Kalisto’s Salida del Sol even, but the crowd don’t seem to be all that impressed. All the ladies get in the ring and are allowed some offense, and it was nice to see Emma get a spot on the Wrestlemania card in her NXT heel persona (and she attacks with a nasty ferocity I absolutely love). Paige deserves better than a partner with Total Divas and her joining the show was perhaps the worst possible thing in regards to her career as an IWC darling. That said, she gets a few chances to offer licks to whatever woman gets in the ring, but mostly serves as the face who is beat on before making the hot tag. Lana lands a few Booker T kicks, but is rather inconsequential considering it was her tormenting Brie the last month or so. Alisha Fox landed her signature Booker T scissor kick but not much else (although she started things off in the match), Tamina did a few bruiser bullying power moves, Summer Rae hit a DDT, turning it into a knees-and-punches to the face, and Naomi offered us a few instances as to why her long legs and attitude can be effective (and how she is wasted right now in WWE). But this was about Brie getting her Wrestlemania moment before retiring from WWE, taking from her husband’s move set, such as the Yes! kicks and Yes! lock, getting a submission win over Naomi. In neck brace, Brie’s sis, Nicki came out to celebrate with the Total Divas. Natalya lands her discus clothesline and a choice few moves from her advanced and underused arsenal. There were some ladies in this match that could have significantly better stories heading into Wrestlemania, but that just wasn’t the case here. Eva had a chance, though, to prove to her critics that she is one step closer to being money in the WWE.

The Dudley Boys vs. The Usos **

“I’m gonna take my time and beat the hell outta you in front of a hundred thousand people!”

--Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba was just talking delish smack the entire match while beating on the Usos in the ring, telling them he would give them a whooping like he did their pop, Rikishi, in the past! Great heelish work by Bubba (no surprise; WWE has to continue to exploit his talents while he’s still around), and there are flashes of that Dudley magic, as he and Devon flirt with the 3D double team finisher and the Wasssssuppppp split-leg/diving headbutt from the top turnbuckle. This was to be the Usos night considering the Dudleys have had their number and gotten the best of them prior to Wrestlemania. Usos offered primarily kicks to the face, but their top rope Superfly splashes to the Dudleys through tables was a cool moment for them. At least these four were fortunate enough to perform in front of most of the fans filing in. This, though, is the kind of match easily forgotten not long after it ends which is not the kind of critical view these talents would desire to leave in the ring. Getting everyone on the roster in the Big Show can be quite the taxing prospect.

The Main Card

Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship

Champion: Kevin Owens vs. Zach Ryder vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sami Zayn vs. Sin Cara vs. Stardust (Cody Rhodes) ****

In a ladder match, with so many wrestlers hitting a variety of wow spots using the ladders as weaponry in the harshest of ways, there is just so much to process. One exhilarating spot is hard to soak in before another spectacular move emerges to replace it. You see Dolph Ziggler hitting Shawn Michaels superkicks on everyone. He even hits an X-Factor face splash on an opponent at one point. You see Owens push the ladder sending Sin Cara through Stardust who is lying on a ladder that is broken in half. Kevin Owens frogsplashes Sami Zayn who is lying on a ladder, absorbing his entire weight and the force of the move from the top turnbuckle. You have Zayn responding later by applying a reverse exploder suplex on Owens onto a ladder. Sin Cara is on a ladder pushed towards the ropes and his agility allows him to balance his feet on the top rope and flip onto a crowd of opponents in my favorite spot besides a Macho Man elbow drop by Zach Ryder onto an opponent and Cody homaging his late father by unveiling a yellow-and-black polka dotted ladder to use to smash into the faces of foes! The Miz means very little overall to the match, essentially getting robbed of the Intercontinental championship because he was showboating. Ryder taking advantage of his not seizing the prize when available and winning the belt was a gratifying if short-lived moment as a champion. His losing it the next night left a bad taste and basically stole some shine from this moment, with Miz capitalizing on his wife’s interference. Zayn being able to steal the show with some of his exciting offense and continue his hot feud with Owens (the best heel in the business right now) during the ladder match was what I took from this one. Zayn is electric and the fans love him…he’s a star, and even if he didn’t win, this grand a stage showcased his talents. To prove how good Owens is as a heel, he laid unconscious on the ladder while Ryder was celebrating with the title! Hilarious.

AJ Styles vs. Y2J  **** ½

I think going into this match, many were thinking (or maybe hoping) that this could be the show-stealer it appeared on paper. Running against it was the number of times the two had wrestled. What made this particular match different (besides the stage of Wrestlemania) is Chris Jericho’s heel turn, a dramatic act resulting in an overwhelming response. It had occurred right after an incredible tag match against New Day, with Jericho finally tired of Styles’ hero fandom, considering their response to him (compared to what he was hearing from the fans for himself) an insult. The codebreaker signaled a fresh start for Jericho to re-apply a new, aggressive, wholly unpleasant and deeply jealous veteran disgusted with the adulation of some upstart who hasn’t put together the same amazing WWE resume as him. While previous matches were fought out of respect and a matter of “a welcoming to the big show”, this match at Wrestlemania was all about developing rage and spite for one another. Jericho had something to prove while AJ was hoping to capitalize on some early success, expecting to add this as a notch on his belt. This was a wealth of riches. It had the right kind of animosity, two strong, compelling workers who could emote the needed reactions considering the hostility that existed, and an assortment of maneuvers hit at all the right times to keep the fans involved. AJ is at the very top of his game and WWE recognizes this, but Jericho is respected, with this match honoring all he has done for the company. And he is ridiculously good as a villain. He talks trash, knows how to puppet the audience, and is able to coordinate expertly ebbs and flows with an opponent deserved of being in the ring with him. AJ doesn’t really suffer from this. He probably should have won, but Jericho was just so damned good, I can’t be bothered by his win. If given time, I imagine he’ll be getting his wins in the future. The style clash and codebreaker finishers not getting three counts should be expected at Wrestlemania, but Jericho’s second codebreaker, taking advantage of AJ requesting vocally the fans to get up in unison before he leaps from the top rope with the intent of a major forearm, is suitably a clever way to get the win, so hats off to him. Jericho has always been reliable at Wrestlemania, and this match, with someone like AJ, is no different. I think the psychology of the match gives it extra relevance as both men knew how to build to the finale. And this match’s position on the card was just right as the fans were coming off just one really solid battle (the ladder match) and could invest emotionally in the action.

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The rest

The League of Nations (Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, and Rusev) vs. New Day (Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, and Big E Langston) **

Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose ** ½

Women’s Heavyweight Champion Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks ****

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon ***

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal ** ½

WWE World Heavyweight Champion HHH vs. Roman Reigns ** ½

While I’m not of the “I hate Reigns” class, I can see why he is so disliked. He has the look and cool of someone chosen not a natural, come-from-the-very-bottom product of the fans who love him like Daniel Bryan or Sami Zayn. He’s limited somewhat by a specific move set, but his star qualities to represent the company are ideal for Vince McMahon. When he goes on a television show to represent the WWE, Roman looks the part especially well. Sure, I’m a “work your ass off and give a complex and endless (it seems) move set that wins over the fans during a long match” kind of wrestling fan. But I understand how the business side works. I do wish there was still a World Heavyweight championship just so the other kind of wrestler (the AJ Styles or Sami Zayns or Kevin Owens kinds of wrestlers who might never wear the WWE Heavyweight championship) had the chance to experience wearing a title with an excellence attached to it. I won’t accost the powers-that-be with my lamentations of putting the belt on Roman. I didn’t really consider the main event of Wrestlemania as rotten as many other critics did. It wasn’t in any way, shape, or form comparable to Zayn/Nakamura. We can just put that criticism to the side. As great a match as AJ Styles/Jericho was, it wasn’t even comparable to Zayn/Nakamura. I will say this: get Alberto Del Rio off the League of Nations and start putting him in singles competition because his match with AJ was a thing of beauty…sorry for the sidetrack but needed to get that out there and their Smackdown match was ace! Reigns was in the “pummeled face persevering to the end when it appeared he would get a sledgehammer to the face” role of the WM main event, with Triple H (as far as I was concerned) doing the professional job of putting him over well. I think Reigns had the wrong opponent as no matter how often the *character* of Triple H denigrates the fans, we know that he is on our side: NXT has spoiled that shady prick, and we know how respectful and admirable his work as a top authority figure is truthfully. When you hear constant cheers for him, I think a face turn is on the way, unless those behind the scenes just aren’t listening to the fans. I think if this is about for HHH, he should be allowed to go the face role and [semi] retire with the audience in his favor. He was, so obviously considering the vocal support you hear, over with the WM fans. The throne was so set and red carpet unfolded for Reigns to take his top spot no matter what fans might desire.

The Women’s Heavyweight Championship triple threat was exciting and exhaustive in how each performer just locomotive into one move set after another. While I get why Charlotte was booked to win, I think this could have been a really excellent night for Sasha Banks if it had been decided that way. That said, she’s a Flair. And she’s a damn good Flair. She is every bit the female equivalent of her father. The way she behaves and carries herself: Ric instilled that in her and she pulls it off like the champ she rightfully is. I would have preferred her to win over my girl, Becky, through nefarious means, but Sasha had to be protected since it is obvious Charlotte and she will be the super women’s feud going forward, no matter how emphasized Natalya might be at this moment. I love Natalya and believe she deserves a spotlight, but she just isn’t going over Charlotte. It just won’t happen. The woman to take that belt from Charlotte is Sasha. I see no one else. Sasha is a star in every way possible. She looks and performs fantastic. She can go a long time in the ring, is very nice to look at, and her confidence is off-the-charts. Becky, no matter how it hurts me personally—considering I’m such a beloved fan of hers—just has to accept, I guess, that she came up through the NXT and WWE at the most inopportune time. There has to be an odd woman out, and she is up against the likes of Charlotte and Sasha. That is coming from someone who would mark out if she had that belt around her waist, popping under the top rope, swinging that wild orange hair like a headbanger. The quick pinfall attempts, variety of triple-moves, succession of kicks and fisticuffs coming fast and furious, close calls after finishers and submissions are applied, the lucha libre high risk maneuvers out of nowhere, and outside-the-ring aerial moves all come at a rapid pace with little breath taken by any of the three performers delivering them: this was a great piece of championship wrestling. What mattered was how badly the three women wanted the win; it shows which is a vital ingredient in any championship match. Someone had to lose, and I hated seeing Becky forced to be the one to suffer the submission loss but she gets in a ton of offense. I think anyone watching this match truly felt Becky belonresged in the ring with them; she just doesn’t have the real backing behind her that Charlotte and Sasha do. But Becky was all over that ring and hit hard when she connected anything she threw. Charlotte’s robe, with Ric’s retirement robe stitched into it, was boss. She is like Roman Reigns: she represents the WWE well with her look; she’s an athletic freak, genetically quite impressive.

As I mention in an upcoming review for NXT Takeover: Unstoppable, animosity is a great ingredient for a championship match, but it can also be a special commodity for a rivalry bout, as is the case with Jericho vs. AJ Styles. Jericho’s heel turn was epic and, although expected, it seemed to truly turn the audience against him upon immediate attack towards Styles who was gung-ho tagging with him. After losing to New Day (the loss had nothing to do with Styles and everything to do with Jericho’s ego), Jericho responded by hitting a codebreaker on Styles just because the fans were cheering him. It was an egocentric incentive for Jericho to respond in such a way as to address the growing jealousy towards Styles, feeling the fans were no longer behind him, choosing this newcomer intruding upon his spot. The WM match itself capitalizes on the impressive chemistry between the two wrestlers. Jericho’s veteran instincts and cagey theatrics are paired well with AJ’s ferocity and aggressiveness. Jericho’s win didn’t bother me because AJ lost to a wily pro who understands how to take a mistake (some attention devoted to fans getting up out of their seats to cheer as AJ used the top rope to leap off for a forearm shot that placed him into a vulnerability ripe for a codebreaker) and advantageously secure a win. It takes from AJ his “Wrestlemania moment” (Jericho has plenty, even if he lost a choice few of them, including a rather questionable one to Fandango). It is a match that goes a right-good length that doesn’t overstay its welcome but feels right at home during the middle of the WM event before the fans are exhausted. The crowd was receptive, the performers were sharp, and the match gives both competitors ebbs and flows needed to tell a story about one wrestler’s desire to rise up the WWE card while another wants to make damn sure everyone knows that he is still a top dog in the yard. I think both wrestlers succeed to state their case: AJ getting a Styles Clash on Jericho the next night to secure a #1 contender’s spot for the WWE title took some of the blow from this loss.

Battle Royals have never much mattered to me, even as far back as when I was a kid growing up watching Andre winning one after another and the countless Royal Rumbles that have came and went during January. Along the way when Hogan won two in a row, and that “telegraphed” feel that the “fix was in” and the predictability of such a thing as a battle royal (where getting sent over the top rope when the feet hit the floor resulting in you being put out of the chance to win) removing the thought of a surprise winner (back in the day, Big John Studd won it!) kind of dampered my feelings towards them. Cesaro and Baron Corbin winning the Andre Memorial Battle Royal has been nice, but Show winning over Sandow last year soured my feelings of this battle royal. I love the trophy and honoring Andre, though. He deserves this respect. This battle royal was more about the Social Outcasts goofing off with their victory march or Shaq and Big Show staring off before getting rid of a few folks than a significant match with a great deal of importance besides the late wrestler being honored. This kind of serves as the chance to show plenty of the roster’s personalities accumulated in one big match similar to the Royal Rumble. It also comes after the Hell in the Cell match that went a good deal of time. Big moment for Corbin, though, who had lost his Takeover: Dallas match to Austin Aries.

The Hell in the Cell has some serious drama applied to it. Shane McMahon’s chance to run Monday Night Raw or be disowned by his father while Undertaker’s Wrestlemania appearance was on the line. So Undertaker would not defend Vince McMahon as much as his chance to continue to wrestle at WWE’s grandest stage. Shane returns for his first match in a while, and it is guaranteed he will perform some sort of lunatic stunt which would elicit a response from the crowd, “Please don’t die.” I think Shane’s leaping off the cage onto (and through) a “give-away” table was rather maniacal. If he had landed on Undertaker he’d have killed the guy! But that is the takeaway from the match. I liked the will of Shane to go through a lot of suffering and punishment at the hands of the Undertaker, with the excuse of his livelihood being a just reasoning for not going down without a fight. Undertaker’s winning is no surprise, and it shouldn’t be. I just can’t see how Shane gets out of that match with a win considering Undertaker has only lost one and that was to Brock Lesnar. Still getting the respectable “valiant loss” earned Shane love and admiration from his fans. This match took a critical ass whooping, but I didn’t think it was that bad. It was certainly no classic, and when compared to UT against HHH or HBK, Shane-O wasn’t about to achieve some masterpiece. The drama kept the fans invested, and the cage assured bodies would be hurled against its walls. The submissions, a chokeslam on the steps (and Shane’s cool DDT spot, too), UT landing tough strikes, Shane getting up time and again while looking absolutely spent, and the suspense of ‘who will win’ did give this some value. What can we expect, though, of two men who rarely wrestle anymore?

The League of Nations are a waste of talent. These guys—Rusev, Alberto Del Rio, and Sheamus—need to be let off the team leash and return to singles competition to develop characters and stories that could get them out of the creative black hole they find themselves. To know that these men are capable of so much more than they are doing right now is rather sad. Del Rio, I’m telling you, is a star who could be something special if he could just find the right wrestler, feud, and story. Served to returning retirees like Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, and Mick Foley to be humiliated and emasculated even after winning their match against New Day (brogue kicking New Day’s go-to job, the wonderfully charismatic and agreeably game promo artiste, Xavier Woods, after outside-the-ring cheap-shot colleague, Wade Barrett, landed the bullhammer elbow) didn’t help them at all. I think those behind their booking have simply given up on them altogether. The next night, Sheamus rightfully called out everyone in anger, considering his guys world class athletes mistreated only for them to be yet embarrassed again (losing to New Day was enough, but…) by the Wyatt Family while dismissing Barrett from the LoN. Sheamus was, at one point, one of the top pushed wrestling stars in the company, but now he’s damaged goods in need of a career resuscitation and reevaluation.

Calling up NXT wrestlers and replenishing the suffering roster with new blood is key to the future of the WWE. No doubt. I think Wrestlemania this year was oddly scripted against type with few ongoing stories reaching a satisfying resolution. Typically the heavies go down and their adversaries vanquish them as the fans celebrate the gratifying win. For whatever reason, this year the decision was to allow the heavies to get away with clean victories while the fans groan in disappointment. Sasha Banks and AJ Styles were sacrificed, New Day and Dean Ambrose are offered to their foes as fodder instead of achieving a grand win at the show of shows. So when this will be mentioned in a rather hostile or apathetic tone in the future, it is not exactly hard to realize why.

Dean Ambrose should have never been trapped in a street fight with Brock Lesnar, stuck in a no-win situation where getting any significant improvement from it at all was almost impossible. What always bothered about Lesnar, a wrestler that I’m not as enamored with as others, is that he just kind of wears his superiority over everyone on the roster to the point (and how he’s booked and the way he’s looked at by wrestling critics) that any other performer stuck in a program with him is certain to be diminished in the process. So twelve minutes of Lesnar not taking Ambrose seriously, pretty much mocking his value in their match, only succumbing to a low blow and some use of a chair during the fight, left me rather unimpressed. It did nothing but further lay claim that Ambrose is booked with disrespect and disregard while Lesnar, once again, laid to waste another superstar with plenty of potential just so he could put another notch in his belt. The pedigree of Flair gets its Wrestlemania again while Lynch remains a booking casualty and scapegoat because of her “intruder to the party that doesn’t believe she belongs” status. AJ had to surrender to the Jericho booking love, and Erick Rowan took a Rock Bottom and pinfall in six seconds. Bray Wyatt, an amazing act, is reduced to a clown—oh, but a respected clown according to the People’s Champion—as Rock denigrates him. I’m so glad there was a reset at Raw the next night. There needed to be a point in the direction of change. Change in the faces we see and hopeful results for those wrestlers emerging. Maybe HHH decides to finally slide in the background and Steph will finally shut the fuck up. Perhaps Lesnar actually sells for someone and there might be at least one wrestler on the roster left he won’t just bulldozer over and giggle in contempt of their standing opposite of him in a ring for a bout heavily billed. I know I sure as hell wouldn’t want a match in the ring with him if I were one of today’s stars just due to maintaining credibility with the audience and wrestling world.