Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
“There’s no pulse…would a demon have a pulse?”
Yes, I could throw around words like “sophomoric”, “juvenile”,
“sinking to the lowest common denominator to attract an audience”, but if you
read the title of this movie carefully then you realize that Sorority Babes in
the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is targeted at a pretty particular viewership. Two
students want badly to join a sorority, willing to go to a bowling alley and
steal a trophy in order to get in. Two dorks and a chubby nuisance go to the
sorority house to watch the sisters paddle the two girls who want to get in
(Brinke Stevens and Michelle Mauer, both of who get naked for us, of course);
they are caught. So the three guys are forced as punishment to go with the two
girls, they accidentally drop the trophy once acquiring it from a shelf, releasing
a demonic imp granting them all wishes (except two characters, I’ll get to them
in a moment…). The wishes are bogus as the imp is evil and soon everyone is
dogmeat. The three sorority sisters behind the initiation trophy demand, watch
from a security monitor room, soon all demonically possessed thanks to the
power of the jovially wicked imp who has too much fun at the expense of those
he/it victimizes. Linnea Quigley is a foul-mouthed, foul-tempered,
easily-angered little firebrand caught by the gang trying to break into a cash
register with a crowbar; her name is Spider. One of the nerds, a reluctant
tag-along needled by his pals to come with them (after getting wasted on one
beer), Calvin (Andras Jones, playing the little nerd with a charm that works to his advantage; I say this because I didn't want to see him dead the moment he opens his mouth for the first time in the movie), really has the hots for Spider. Any and everyone that as much as looks at Spider the wrong way is given a profanity-laced outburst. Hell, what can I say, I like my women a little feisty because she certainly turned my dial up a notch. Even with access eye shadow and mascara, I was google-eyed.
Before he became fixated with showing dudes without their
shirts all the time in his movies, director David DeCoteau made films with
naked chicks. While I actually prefer his next Scream Queens film, Nightmare
Sisters, I have to admit that Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama is
irresistible 80s crap I can watch without hesitation mainly because Quigley,
even when boxed into a role where she has to swear in every sentence and act
all pissed even when such anger isn’t warranted, just lights my fire. I think
she was just at her absolute yummiest during this period. Her difficulty is
showing that underneath all that hard attitude, snarky sarcasm, and “Fuck You!”
personality is a heart that can feel for someone, as is in the case for Calvin.
Calvin is innocuous and hospitable which is why Quigley’s Spider warms to him…he
does show he is interested in her, but doesn’t pose a threat if she doesn’t
want anything to do with him. Hal Havins has one acting style—as evident in
another film where he’s even worse, Night of the Demons—and that’s obnoxious
and loud. You just want to see him suffer only because he grates on your nerves
the first moment he appears. John Stuart Wildman is the prototypical nerd who
so badly wants to get laid, yet when the time comes and a honey is ready, willing, and able (even if under an imp’s
wish spell), he clams up and wants to escape. I think Brinke suffers the most
in the trio of scream queens as she has limited time on screen, doesn’t have
much of a character to develop, and is treated rather poorly the entire time
she’s in the movie. Her fate is a bit unfortunate…and off screen. The same really goes for Bauer, although she could do sultry with ease, hypnotic ease. Why Keith could even think about trying to get away from her seems quite the head-scratcher.
The budget
looked to be rather minuscule, and I figured those involved in the making of
Sorority Babes in the Slimball Bowl-O-Rama were successful in renting the
bowling alley afterhours to save even more money. The imp arm puppet, voiced
with warped amusement by Michael Sonye, is really tacky, further illustrating
just how small the budget was for the movie. All of the violence happens away
from the screen, also obviously due to budget restraints. Pretty much what we
have is a movie with kids running around trying to survive demon-possessed
sorority sisters (one as a zombie, the other, in an inspired bit of profundity,
the Bride of Frankenstein (!)…)
When it came to casting bit parts, no one left his mark
quite like George Buck Flower. I tell you, Buck was worth his weight in gold. I
bet they didn’t pay him a couple hundred bucks for about fifteen minutes work,
but he was a treat, that’s for sure. His whole act with the hearing aid and
deafness, not understanding what Calvin and Spider were saying half the time,
was a riot. The old man hick routine never, and I mean NEVER, got old. He tells of how the imp came to be; quite a storyteller in that thick southern voice that works so beautifully. When he swears it just cracks me up.
A fun start to the Quigley series, and appropriate because
it was a longer part than usual for her where she even got to kick some ass and
talk trash; sure her performance could best be described as forced and laid on
a bit thick, but I could just bend her over my knee and give her a spanking…think
that could still be arranged?
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