Piranha 3DD (2009)
I might write some more on this later as I collect my thoughts. The review below was just thoughts immediately after the viewing. I will probably have more to say about the movie. Christopher Lloyd returned. Danielle Panabaker gets to be the female heroine of the film. She has two guys desiring her.
There's a homage to the iconic Wes Craven directed Nightmare on Elm Street bathtub scene as Panabaker lies, eyes closed, like Nancy did, her legs wide open (thoughts of my piranha taking a charge did cross my mind for a spell) as little baby piranha drop out of her faucet, is here as well.
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I swore this movie was supposed to be released at theaters. I guess the Weinsteins watched the final product and felt it was not bankable (or it sucked, however you want to label the final product). Anyway, I just finished watching it. It is unfortunate as when I first heard word that there was a follow-up to the 3D remake of Dante's Piranha, I was psyched as I enjoyed Aja's gory take on the 70s drive-in classick. Like Dante's film, Aja's has tongue-firmly-in-cheek which is why it went over so well with me. The CGI--that was a different story.
Not exactly subtle, is it? Ha
This one has the Hoff, so I can't totally say I wholly disliked it. Director John Gulager (the Feast trilogy) directs a much smaller-scale follow-up, but the effects are decent enough, I guess. You get some of the piranha uglies on land, with people unwisely putting their hands near them or getting in a little too close. There are the obvious Jaws moments with the camera underwater. He has CGI versions of the piranha swimming around under water.
The Gulager brand of raunchy humor is here so Feast fans will probably welcome his Piranha film with open arms. Piranha biting down on penis. Piranha up a guy's asshole. Piranha blown away by titanium steel legs (yes, the awesomeness that is Ving Rhames shows up, a "legless stump" now afraid to go near the water (and rightfully so). Piranha biting a kid's head off. A flag line decapitating the heel owner of the water park (yes, Jaws fans he is warned to shut the park down and doesn't do so because of how profits would suffer), his head bouncing into the hands of a bikini stripper with fake, big boobs (his face is held in her hands, between her tits as she jiggles while screaming in terror), then dropped into a blood-drenched pool to be eaten by piranha. Piranha eating Gary Busey and Clu Gulagher in a swamp. A dead cow farting piranha eggs. You get the picture. You even have a baby piranha traveling into a virgin chick's vagina, spending some time in her before exiting out how it came in, attaching to dick, before dude castrates himself. Again, this is what lies in wait for you and will be enough to have many claiming it rocks hard.
I loved the crescendo of bloody gore effects in the Aja film courtesy of Nicotero and company. They delivered the goods in that one. This movie has body parts in abundance and surprisingly keeps the CGI attacks at a minimum (the CGI is mostly confined to the fish, actually), although the severed head gag is a bit too much. The penis gag was quite a scene, though. It will probably make some cringe.
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4/3/2016
There's a homage to the iconic Wes Craven directed Nightmare on Elm Street bathtub scene as Panabaker lies, eyes closed, like Nancy did, her legs wide open (thoughts of my piranha taking a charge did cross my mind for a spell) as little baby piranha drop out of her faucet, is here as well.---------__---------
I swore this movie was supposed to be released at theaters. I guess the Weinsteins watched the final product and felt it was not bankable (or it sucked, however you want to label the final product). Anyway, I just finished watching it. It is unfortunate as when I first heard word that there was a follow-up to the 3D remake of Dante's Piranha, I was psyched as I enjoyed Aja's gory take on the 70s drive-in classick. Like Dante's film, Aja's has tongue-firmly-in-cheek which is why it went over so well with me. The CGI--that was a different story.
Not exactly subtle, is it? Ha
This one has the Hoff, so I can't totally say I wholly disliked it. Director John Gulager (the Feast trilogy) directs a much smaller-scale follow-up, but the effects are decent enough, I guess. You get some of the piranha uglies on land, with people unwisely putting their hands near them or getting in a little too close. There are the obvious Jaws moments with the camera underwater. He has CGI versions of the piranha swimming around under water.
The Gulager brand of raunchy humor is here so Feast fans will probably welcome his Piranha film with open arms. Piranha biting down on penis. Piranha up a guy's asshole. Piranha blown away by titanium steel legs (yes, the awesomeness that is Ving Rhames shows up, a "legless stump" now afraid to go near the water (and rightfully so). Piranha biting a kid's head off. A flag line decapitating the heel owner of the water park (yes, Jaws fans he is warned to shut the park down and doesn't do so because of how profits would suffer), his head bouncing into the hands of a bikini stripper with fake, big boobs (his face is held in her hands, between her tits as she jiggles while screaming in terror), then dropped into a blood-drenched pool to be eaten by piranha. Piranha eating Gary Busey and Clu Gulagher in a swamp. A dead cow farting piranha eggs. You get the picture. You even have a baby piranha traveling into a virgin chick's vagina, spending some time in her before exiting out how it came in, attaching to dick, before dude castrates himself. Again, this is what lies in wait for you and will be enough to have many claiming it rocks hard.
I loved the crescendo of bloody gore effects in the Aja film courtesy of Nicotero and company. They delivered the goods in that one. This movie has body parts in abundance and surprisingly keeps the CGI attacks at a minimum (the CGI is mostly confined to the fish, actually), although the severed head gag is a bit too much. The penis gag was quite a scene, though. It will probably make some cringe.
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4/3/2016
Yeah, I guess you could say, this is the kind of marketing campaign that made the feminist movement cringe, and those who still made something like this feel as if the objectification of women was still alive and well. I guess there was some small victory to be considered if realized that this film wasn't a success and managed a minor DVD and VOD run before syfy channel sanitized it for cable and satellite viewers.
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