Valentine (2001)

 Here is a slasher film I haven't actually watched in 20 years since my wife and I rented it from Movie Gallery. Yep, just one time in twenty years, which should speak volumes on how much of an impression it left. Really, this is basic slasher plotting and execution from the director of "Urban Legend" (1998) about a rejected dorky kid at a Valentine's Dance who convinces the chubby girl of his class (after all the pretty snobs dis him) to kiss him under the bleachers. Some of the jerky boys laughs at them, with the chubby girl claiming he forced himself on her. Those bully punks dump red punch on the kid named Jeremy Marquette, with extra school punishment resulting from the chubby girl's lie. So after high school, these girls who poked fun at JM receive Valentine's letters from him with threats. When you look at the kids at the dance, one among them is wearing a Cupid mask, later to be worn by JM (who has had plastic surgery and complete makeover) when "he" starts picking them off one by one. Well, not just those specific girls all grown up but certain other people who might be in the way.

The chubby girl is Jessica Capshaw as an adult, thinner, blonde, with a father who has a mail-order bride, in a month-long relationship with a grifter taking advantage of her gullibility and willingness to take him in (and perhaps offer her trust fund to his "startup") named Campbell (Daniel Cosgrove; known for being a journeyman soap opera actor). A wronged lover from the past he had fleeced (Hedy Burress; "Foxfire", co-starring a young Angelina Jolie) wants her pound of flesh, telling Capshaw's Dorothy that Campbell gave her a present (a necklace with a cupid on it) stolen from her jewelry. 

***I was glad to catch this on Tubi. My daughter and I are working through the slashers of the 90s and early 2000s, so it was cool that this was available during this particular point and time ***

Among those grown up that JM had asked to dance include the sultry Paige (Denise Richards, whose seductive screen presence is once again highlighted; and, yes, she ends up in a bikini in a hot tub), much friendlier, pretty blue-eyed blonde beauty, Kate (Marley Shelton; "Grindhouse" and "Scream 4"), and perky, mouthy Lily (Jessica Cauffiel). A certain physical trait that the killer has when he pursues and kills victims is a bleeding nose -- reminding me of The Bleeder from "Alone in the Dark" (1982) -- shown leaking down his Cupid mask. Of use in the film include an ax (when director Blanks shows the ax stuck in a tree stump in the basement of Dorothy's mansion, and a camera shot later reveals it missing, you know that is going to stab a body), power drill (the killer traps his victim in a hot tub through a plastic lid, drills the arm of the victim, and tosses the drill in the water to electrocute the victim), butcher knife (a student about to work on a corpse for a big test coming up hides in a body bag in a room with other dead bodies somehow believes she won't be caught in the most lamebrained decision by a victim in the film, getting her throat slit in the process), and arrows with steel tips (shot from a killer with a Cupid mask...oh the irony!) resulting in the victim falling into a garbage bin.

Katherine Heigl is in the Drew Barrymore role of first victim, one of the girls asked to dance, on a bad date, returning from it to college, not expecting the killer to be stalking her throughout the halls. I think the best kill of the film -- where an interloper is looking to take something back from Campbell, snatching a watch, catching the Cupid psycho dragging the corpse of Dorothy's maid from a room into the kitchen, trying to find a place to hide (choosing the sauna perhaps ill-advised) -- involves a shattered shower door and shards of sharp glass protruding with a victim's neck forced right into it. It leaves a bloody puddle with the victim later found by Kate as she tries to get away from who she believes could be JM.

David Boreanaz ("Angel" and "Bones") is Adam Carr, a struggling alcoholic trying to stay sober for Kate, who is forgiving and caring but not willing to deal with a drunk boyfriend long-term unable to hold his liquor. When a detective (Fulvio Cecere) asks about boyfriends and possible suspects, Kate eventually thinks Adam might be the Cupid killer. Cecere's detective coming on to Paige is more than a bit icky, since he is trying to find a killer possibly targeting her. Johnny Whitworth (I know him as Jake from "CSI: Miami"), as this oddball "video artiste", is Lily's wandering-eye beau. When Whitworth's Max is making out with Lily, his assistant wants to touch herself and watch, much to Lily's chagrin.

To be honest, I know that Valentine (2001) has its fans. Much like Blanks' "Urban Legend", Valentine has that cast of faces -- and some alternative rock of the era -- and particular personality of the time it is set. You will be able to point at members of the cast and know them from television (such as "Grey's Anatomy") and film, while the slasher violence remains very similar to its Scream counterparts...this isn't elaborately grisly even as the weapons of the genre return yet again. Though the twist of who is the killer just isn't a surprise, how that person gets away with it by disguising someone else, duping Kate, is clever and creative. 2.5/5