I admit that I just fucking love You’re Next (2011) because
Sharni Vinson gets to unleash death on animal-masked cretins thinking they’re
just going to home invade without consequences to their health and ungrateful
adult brats wrought with such greed they’d be willing to have their parents
killed for the inheritance. Yeah, the last part of that is kind of a twist but
it clocks in about the 70 minute mark. She just kind of looks like a friendly,
engaging Aussie girlfriend accompanying her quiet boyfriend (AJ Bowen, a
regular in Ti West joints) to his family’s evening dinner/anniversary shindig.
Nothing necessarily screams aloud: SHE
IS A BADASS SURVIVALIST WARRIOR WHO WILL KILL YOUR ASS WITH A BLENDER,
SCREWDRIVER, PLANKS WITH NAILS, AND ANYTHING THAT IS OR ISN’T TIED DOWN. This
takes “final girl” to a whole new level. Inescapable is your doom if she has a
say in it when you fuck with her domain, or bring violence to those she wishes
to protect. That body count not victimized by those home invaders who show up
unannounced and kill you when you are unprepared turns out quite impressive as
Vinson sets in motion her path through them dirtbags. When Vinson smashes a
wrench across one animal-masked paid thug’s head numerous times, as a son and
his girlfriend look on in astonishment, she stakes her claim as the boss of the
yard that has no punches pulled…you are in her sights and a pummeling awaits
you. Good to see Barbara Crampton showing up in horror movies again. With this
and the sleeper gem, We Are Still Here (2015), it was nice to see her. She’s
been missed. I wish she was more than just a victim betrayed by her putrid
kiddos, but it’s a film that told us Barb was still a lovely woman who isn’t
irrelevant. When one son slits his dad's throat, gripes to the killers that he had to get his hands bloody, plunges a knife into another brother over and over, and offers extra pay to get rid of Vinson, all bets are off...so when a spinning blender drills him in the head while his girl gets a knife buried right into her own head, it seems operatic and warranted. So why not Vinson to be the very one to end them? It sure works for this slasher fan! So if just that ending didn't happen....
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