Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Cabin Fever (2016)



I'm going to join the parade. This fucking movie should never have seen the greenlight. I liked Eli Roth's Cabin Fever (2002). Saw it at the theater and thought its dark humor and grisly viscera was rather entertaining and unsettling. It had a rather gnarly cast, too. But this remake has no reason to exist. None at all. With a few alterations, the screenplay co-written by Roth follows his film somewhat closely. The skeleton is essentially the same. Young adults who grew up together take a trip to a cabin. The nearby reservoir is infected with a flesh-eating virus. As each drinks from the water, they are infected. And it is a nasty infection, too. The body bleeds, peels, and rots. There is the usual screaming, bickering, and dying. A dog is infected and it gets its fill. The pretty blond is the first to be infected. She is put in the shack near the cabin. One scene has the blond's potential boyfriend fucking his friend's girlfriend as she rots away in the shack! And sure enough there's a return to the leg-shaving scene which includes, this time, the female victim walking out of the cabin bleeding from oozing wounds buck naked, agonizing, collapsing, and facing the rabid dog soon to eat her! Another scene has the blond's potential boyfriend trying to decapitate her with a shovel...unsuccessful, and her still pleading to end her, he decides to set her on fire instead!!! Her screams reach from beyond the the burning shack as he watches in tears! One of the group has an assault weapon which has plenty of ammunition in its magazines. It comes in handy. Three locals decide they will kill any of the group still alive to halt any potential spread of infection...one of them has a kid who just decides to bite one of the group on the hand saying, "Pancakes". What the fuck?

At the beginning, the gang seem excited about a trip that will allow them to release some school fatigue. They are quite looking forward to swimming, drinking, and sex. Just the chance to unwind and be free from the pressures of the future is what they're after. Then comes the onslaught of the infection. It all goes to pot quickly.

The film peddles its wares to a horror audience simply fucking tired of the genre spewing such shit to them. Tired, plain tired. Some gruesome effects aside, this has nothing--just absolutely nothing--I think fans of the 2002 film would truly care about. You get some female nudity and a little bit of sex, but nothing that will leave you titillated.

Many horror fans hate Eli Roth. And this remake doesn't help to cull such vitriol held against him. When they call him a narcissist, an egomaniac, garbage like this remake fuels those sentiments exponentially. None of the characters--except maybe the poor blond girl--come off exactly heroic. Or sympathetic. Or even tolerable. And as they die, no one will care. And that is unfortunate.

If it was even funny, it'd help a little. But it isn't. It retains some of the original film's script but it leaves out its personality. I am the first to admit that I liked Roth's The Green Inferno. I did. But he needs to reign in his ego. Because these days, his films aren't doing so well. As for the movie poster, even it mimics The Evil Dead (2013)! And what was with the kid wearing the bunny mask???

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The Girlfriend Experience- Boundaries

Before I sod off, I have had this on paper for a week! Been either forgetting about it or just avoiding it. Last Thursday night I watche...

Ahs

Ahs

Edc

Edc
Blog's Dead all Over
"... perhaps we invent artificial terrors to cope with the real ones."

--host, Donald Pleasence, Terror in the Aisles (1984)

Sbut

Sbut
Snip. Snip

Hal

Hal
There are many things under the sun
---Dr. Werdegast, The Black Cat

hal1

It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare.

Jtm 2

Jtm 2

Rave

Rave

Mrub

Mrub

Gb

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."

--Ghostbusters

sm6

sm6

Rv1

Rv1

Nas

Nas

nos3

nos3

Lok

Lok

Po

Po

Ra6

Ra6

dawn

dawn

Dracula's Daughter ('36)

Countess Zaleska: Be thou exorcised oh Dracula, and thy body long undead find destruction throughout eternity in the name of thy dark unholy Master.

mh2

mh2

z2

z2

Hiii

Hiii

Fred

Fred

Ghspo

Ghspo
Movie, so-so, but poster, cool

Enl

Enl

nos4

nos4

gm

To a new world of gods and monsters!


No 2

No 2
Jason Lives

clothes line

clothes line

Ahorr

Ahorr

Cbi1

Cbi1
Case of the bloody iris

Wsha

Wsha

Mouth3

Mouth3
In the Mouth of Madness

Fdfn2

Fdfn2
Freddy's Dead '91

Vyr

Vyr
Vampyres 1974

Sh fr

Sh fr
Friday the 13th Part 2

Vlov

Vlov
Carmilla's kiss

f133

f133

Edpos

Edpos

Ttf2

Ttf2

Jm2

Jm2
El Hombre Lobo

Psycho '60

It's sad, when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her own son. But I couldn't allow them to believe that I would commit murder. They'll put him away now, as I should have years ago. He was always bad, and in the end he intended to tell them I killed those girls and that man... as if I could do anything but just sit and stare, like one of his stuffed birds. They know I can't move a finger, and I won't. I'll just sit here and be quiet, just in case they do... suspect me. They're probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I'm not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching... they'll see. They'll see and they'll know, and they'll say, "Why, she wouldn't even harm a fly..."

Kife

Kife
Knife is calling, Psycho 2

Meg

Meg
Meg Tilly, Psycho II

ring 2

ring 2
the ring 2002, "the tape"

poster

poster

exor1

exor1
"the visitor" The Exorcist (1973)

Conj

Conj

Tz1

Tz1
"Masks", Twilight Zone

In the kitchen, The Shape

In the kitchen, The Shape
In the kitchen, The Shape

exc4

exc4

Ps56

Ps56

Hun

Hun
Murders in the Rue Morgue 1932

Ps89

Ps89

Cof

Cof
Victor and Paul, with their Monster

pcushig

pcushig

His

His

Efny

Efny

sus

sus
I'm going to grind you down to blood and screams.

--Innocent Blood 1992
Rest in Peace, Robert Loggia

wb

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.

WZ

WZ

Edfen

Edfen
"Do not enter the city...It belongs to the dead now."

h1

h1
Look behind you!

Bs

Bs
"There is no terror in the bang, only the anticipation of it."
--Alfred Hitchcock

linnea

linnea

Amer

Amer
Taste of metal

The h gang

The h gang

Nlc

Nlc
Old Skool Nostalgia

Hp

Hp

Smoke

Smoke
Got a smoke?

Strek

Strek
Live long and prosper

Hill

Hill

Castle

Castle

SRW

"This seems to be the place where the plot begins to thicken..."
--Spooks Run Wild (1941)

Frere and dummy

Frere and dummy

Mlove

Mlove

Alone/dark

"There are no crazy people, doctor. We're all just on vacation."

--Alone in the Dark (1982)

Lips

Lips

Fhz

Fhz

Ph

Ph

Vestron

Vestron
Vintage VHS

sm 3

sm 3

Monique parent

Monique parent
Erotique in Review

Were5

Were5

f13

f13
November 2015

Bmate

Bmate

--Wes Craven

I think there is something about the American dream, the sort of Disneyesque dream, if you will, of the beautifully trimmed front lawn, the white picket fence, mom and dad and their happy children, God-fearing and doing good whenever they can, and the flip side of it, the kind of anger and the sense of outrage that comes from discovering that that's not the truth of the matter, that gives American horror films, in some ways, kind of an additional rage.

Ms45 w

Ms45 w

Churcvh

Churcvh
The Church 1989

Ww

Ww
The Whip and the Body 1963

Lsho

"Now, no novacaine....it dulls the senses"

--Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

Christopher Lee

Every actor has to make terrible films from time to time, but the trick is never to be terrible in them.

Vampyros lesbos

You are one of us now. The Queen of the Night will bear you up on her black wings

The Unknown 1927

No....not sick. But I have lost some flesh.

Alonzo, the Armless.

Ckvh

Ckvh

Blood of Dracula's Castle (1969)

Glen: We'd like to speak to the Townsends, please.

The Butler: They are not available till after sunset.

Bw5

Bw5

Jill

Jill

Mad Love 1935

Doctor Gogol: Did you ever hear of Galatea?

Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: Gala - who? Not wanting a statue of him, are you?

Doctor Gogol: I don't want a statue of Galatea. You see, she was a statue herself. Pygmalion formed her. Out of marble, not wax. And then she came to life in his arms.

Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: [calling to his assistant] Start the motor, Henry. There's queer people on the streets of Montmartre at this time of night.

Doctor Gogol: [handing him his card] Here, a hundred francs if you deliver the statue to my house.

Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: [reading card] It's a go, Dr. Go... gol. First thing in the morning.