American Horror Story: Apocalypse - The End

** / *****

I admit that as I started the first episode of Apocalypse—titled The End—until its conclusion I felt almost absolutely nothing. Just no reaction one way or another. I do remember saying to myself at one point, “Oh, please tell me I don’t have to spend an episode, or much less a season, with these people”. Joan Collins cracking while eating “white meat” chicken that she didn’t care if the “stew was Stu”—interrupted before boarding a plane set for a concrete-secure facility funded by “The Cooperative” when she was about to call “Donald” as LA was about to take a direct nuclear hit—while the other “elites” at the “dinner table” freak out about “accidental cannibalism” did make me laugh aloud. Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates are left “in charge” of “Outpost Three” by The Cooperative (a covert “committee” that selects survivors considered the “best candidates” deserving to remain after the radioactive fallout and subsequent phase where the earth must endure the ramifications of nuclear used the wrong way), left to administer punishment (sometimes intentional) and aid to the selective members privileged to have been granted access to the Outpost Three’s underground enviorns, lit by candle, “vitamin cubes” for sustenance, very few songs available so what is remains on rotation hour after hour (day after day), and a rather moody decorum. Paulson and Bates are rather morose and stiff, approaching the bitchy, unappreciative, always complaining bunch of ungrateful snobs (Leslie Grossman’s Coco particularly tiresome) with an icy veneer and austere presence. As Grossman goes off about their lack of “food choice”, Paulson slaps her with Grossman soon quietly taking her seat. If there is a sign of radioactivity “corrupting” the confines of the Outpost Three, out comes the Geiger counter and if anyone is revealed to have perhaps ventured outside without a protective suit, and the rough “bathing” process doesn’t work, a gunshot to the head is the result! Stu (Chad Buchanan) is such a case. Evan Peters, as a fey hairstylist often complaining much like Grossman, gets the painful bath but is fortunate enough that Bates only wants to kill one of them! It is revealed that Paulson and Bates are often naughty in regards to feigning certain things like radioactive fears and the aforementioned cannibalism. When alone, the two of them (in their own sociopathic way) revel in being bad towards their “guests”. Cody Fern arrives as Mr. Langdon, his horses infected and put down, informing Paulson that the other outposts have fallen to overthrow, and he will be selecting from Outpost Three those worthy to accompany him to one impregnable facility.

I love Bates and Paulson in certain roles, but the whole episode left much to be desired for me. Sometimes a plot and characters fail to really grab me. AHS sometimes immediately grips me with certain of their seasons, like Asylum. Sometimes they don’t like Roanoke. Cult hit a bit close to home and left me often unsettled due to the times we currently live. What I have seen of Coven I dig and I look forward to Hotel despite its detractors. Apocalypse, I will give a chance. I will watch it all the way through and determine where it ultimately stands with me. Roanoke, unlike others, got better for me as it went along, so it isn’t a stretch that Apocalypse won’t eventually offer something that moves the needle with me.

In regards to Billie Lourd, I love her. I just do. She has that “face doesn’t move, words fly so fast you need captions to understand what she says” quality I find irresistible. Others will probably find her annoying. She serves the interests of Grossman, who is that selfish, selfie-obsessed drama queen, constantly kvetching about her situation when so many others outside in the fallout are far worse off…in more ways than one. I do admittedly enjoy Collins and Peters as a duo—the kind of LA family where living lavishly and being accommodated are a way of life—although allowed to boringly exist within a protected structure, they, much like Grossman, wax gross their disappointment in the current situation.

Adina Porter is a celebrity talk show host who, much like Oprah (mentioned during an exchange, so the comparison is addressed in dialogue), offers advice and “self help” musings, much to the dismay of her fellow colleagues. Kyle Allen (his “superior DNA” catching the attention of The Cooperative) and Ash Santos (put in jail for “aggressive protesting”) are the two young adults granted access as “purples” for the Outpost Three.