** / *****
I admit that as I started the first episode of Apocalypse—titled The End—until its conclusion I felt almost absolutely
nothing. Just no reaction one way or another. I do remember saying to myself at
one point, “Oh, please tell me I don’t have to spend an episode, or much less a
season, with these people”. Joan Collins cracking while eating “white meat”
chicken that she didn’t care if the “stew was Stu”—interrupted before boarding
a plane set for a concrete-secure facility funded by “The Cooperative” when she
was about to call “Donald” as LA was about to take a direct nuclear hit—while the
other “elites” at the “dinner table” freak out about “accidental cannibalism”
did make me laugh aloud. Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates are left “in charge” of “Outpost
Three” by The Cooperative (a covert “committee” that selects survivors
considered the “best candidates” deserving to remain after the radioactive
fallout and subsequent phase where the earth must endure the ramifications of
nuclear used the wrong way), left to administer punishment (sometimes
intentional) and aid to the selective members privileged to have been granted
access to the Outpost Three’s underground enviorns, lit by candle, “vitamin
cubes” for sustenance, very few songs available so what is remains on rotation
hour after hour (day after day), and a rather moody decorum. Paulson and Bates
are rather morose and stiff, approaching the bitchy, unappreciative, always
complaining bunch of ungrateful snobs (Leslie Grossman’s Coco particularly
tiresome) with an icy veneer and austere presence. As Grossman goes off about
their lack of “food choice”, Paulson slaps her with Grossman soon quietly
taking her seat. If there is a sign of radioactivity “corrupting” the confines
of the Outpost Three, out comes the Geiger counter and if anyone is revealed to
have perhaps ventured outside without a protective suit, and the rough “bathing”
process doesn’t work, a gunshot to the head is the result! Stu (Chad Buchanan)
is such a case. Evan Peters, as a fey hairstylist often complaining much like
Grossman, gets the painful bath but is fortunate enough that Bates only wants
to kill one of them! It is revealed that Paulson and Bates are often naughty in
regards to feigning certain things like radioactive fears and the
aforementioned cannibalism. When alone, the two of them (in their own
sociopathic way) revel in being bad towards their “guests”. Cody Fern arrives
as Mr. Langdon, his horses infected and put down, informing Paulson that the
other outposts have fallen to overthrow, and he will be selecting from Outpost
Three those worthy to accompany him to one impregnable facility.
I love Bates and Paulson in certain roles, but the whole
episode left much to be desired for me. Sometimes a plot and characters fail to
really grab me. AHS sometimes immediately grips me with certain of their
seasons, like Asylum. Sometimes they
don’t like Roanoke. Cult hit a bit close to home and left me
often unsettled due to the times we currently live. What I have seen of Coven I dig and I look forward to Hotel despite its detractors. Apocalypse, I will give a chance. I will
watch it all the way through and determine where it ultimately stands with me. Roanoke, unlike others, got better for
me as it went along, so it isn’t a stretch that Apocalypse won’t eventually offer something that moves the needle
with me.
In regards to Billie Lourd, I love her. I just do. She has
that “face doesn’t move, words fly so fast you need captions to understand what
she says” quality I find irresistible. Others will probably find her annoying.
She serves the interests of Grossman, who is that selfish, selfie-obsessed
drama queen, constantly kvetching about her situation when so many others
outside in the fallout are far worse off…in more ways than one. I do admittedly
enjoy Collins and Peters as a duo—the kind of LA family where living lavishly and
being accommodated are a way of life—although allowed to boringly exist within
a protected structure, they, much like Grossman, wax gross their disappointment
in the current situation.
Adina Porter is a celebrity talk show host who, much like
Oprah (mentioned during an exchange, so the comparison is addressed in
dialogue), offers advice and “self help” musings, much to the dismay of her
fellow colleagues. Kyle Allen (his “superior DNA” catching the attention of The
Cooperative) and Ash Santos (put in jail for “aggressive protesting”) are the
two young adults granted access as “purples” for the Outpost Three.
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