Terror in the Aisles

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As a horror fan, “Terror in the Aisles” isn’t exactly offering me nothing I haven’t seen…considering that I’ve been watching the genre for thirty years. However, I recall quite pleasantly watching Aisles as a kid (not the censored version), with this fan awoken and interested. Watching it for the first time in probably 25 years, the thought that went through my mind was how cool it must have been to edit this together. You are handed the keys to the kingdom, so to speak. Look at all the content the editor was allowed to piecemeal into 84 minutes with a game Donald Pleasence and Nancy Allen as hosts in an audience, inside a darkened theater. Sure, what our hosts are given to speak—talking about what the genre does to those who watch horror films, what they convey, and the effects they might have—can be a bit cheesy for the modern horror fan, but I find the duties aren’t in vain. I guess the way I look at it, the hosts and how they dote on horror and what it means, following whatever scenes accompany each other within each chapter, is of its time and as an introductory document for mainstream films from the 70s and 80s (not only slashers which were especially popular in ’84, but even thrillers such as “Klute” & “The Silent Partner”, along with sci-fi like “Alien” and both versions of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”), Aisles is as good as any to intrigue young, impressionable folks not yet converted. 

I was just astounded at what Aisles accomplishes: you actually have “Halloween”, “Friday the 13^th”, “The Omen”, “When a Stranger Calls”, “Psycho”, “The Birds”, “The Fury”, “Dressed to Kill”, “Carrie”, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, “Friday the 13^th Part 2”, “The Exorcist”, “Bride of Frankenstein”, “Saturday the 14^th”, “Ms. 45”, among others all alternating within chapters, perhaps the one documentary given carte blanche to do that. I was especially blown away by how Loomis’ “Michael Meyers monologue” was used over bits and pieces of Halloween, while you sometimes get dialogue from one film overlapping another classic, which I thought was quite a historical precedent. I think few documentaries have since been so fortunate to have such a library to visually montage within 84 minutes.

Pleasence and Allen are not going through the motions, which I personally appreciated. They seem comfortable in those seats among compelled and nervous faces. The film doesn’t just feature Leatherface or Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. It isn’t just about pea soup from the lips of Blair all over a priest, as the fun Hauer/Stallone vehicle, “Nighthawks”, gets plenty of love as does, surprisingly, Wings Hauser and “Vice Squad”. “Ms. 45” doesn’t just get a few seconds as Zoe Lund’s beautiful red lips kisses her bullets and blasts her gun, and Carol Kane, while on the phone with a killer that continues to tell her to check on the children in “When a Stranger Calls”, just doesn’t appear and leave…the doc has a way of spreading their scenes out a bit longer than expected. “Rosemary’s Baby” and poor Mia Farrow dealing with an apartment of Satanists, “The Omen” with Peck and Remick contending with a child that happens to be the anti-Christ, and the shape-shifting, human-absorbing alien “things”, in “The Thing” giving Kurt Russell and his Antarctic crew a lot of problems; this doc has a way of compiling scene after scene from some of the most noteworthy horror films recognized during the fifteen or so years that came before Aisles. 

So as a sampler, Aisles can whet the appetite and service newbies as the perfect compilation to get them started. This isn’t necessarily the doc that offers obscure gems from the genre horror elites might desire, but as a broad sweep over a genre that has plenty of wealth to share with others, Aisles isn’t too bad a doc and so much content is fused within a quaint running time.

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Fans of "Final Exam" (1981) will notice Joel Rice as one of the movie goers. 

I think for fans of "Halloween" (1978) will particularly find the opening credits, in how music is used to tie in key scenes from a plethora of classics, to be quite noteworthy and just plain cool.

If ever there was a film that benefits from a documentary showcase it is "The Marathon Man". Olivier and his dental horror, asking "Is it safe?" while Hoffman faces the inescapable terror of such an unfortunate situation, couldn't get a better how-do-you-do than in Aisles.