Lot 249

An archaeologist major at an unnamed college receives a crate carrying the body of an Egyptian mummy (not sure where he was able to get it from or how) and uses it as a destructive force against a rival for grants that could help him achieve success and make a career and the girlfriend who underhandedly opposes him in favor of her boyfriend who undeservedly is awarded in the process. A fellow tenant in the apartment he lives will not take kindly to a mummy killing his best friend and sister and so a struggle for ultimate revenge results in the unsavory finality through the read words of a powerful scroll.

**/*****

Just look at the pool of talent in “Lot 249”, the first tale in the cinematic addition to Rubenstein, Romero, and company’s television anthology show, Tales from the Darkside. Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, Christian Slater, and Robert Sedgwick (the latter I know primarily from a really good episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent) were the principles in this first tale, considered a minor modern revenge tale once again seeing a mummy the weapon of destruction through the use of a scroll (this go-around, found inside of the mummy). I think you certainly feel a less than subdued vitriol in the entitled affluent pretty boys (and the girl that aligns them) against a brilliant but “not born with a silver spoon in his mouth” archeologist major at a college campus. Moore is Slater’s sister and Sedgwick’s girlfriend. Moore is also an object of lust to Buscemi (I’ve always been a bit hard for her, too…pun intended). She is always on a mission to see that Sedgwick receive the grants and fellowships that should have been awarded to Buscemi. It was obviously Sedgwick’s family’s deep pockets and his Robert Redford looks are Moore was attracted to. She knew he was a dope afforded luxuries Buscemi deserved. Poor Buscemi couldn’t be any different. He was not wealthy, but his intelligence and (as we will learn as this tale goes on) emerging deviousness after a hidden stolen artifact (a “Zuni fetish”) is placed in his home by Moore proves to be the undoing of those who purposely go after him. In other words, you take from him, he will sure as hell take from you.

"Lot 249" was based on a story (this was a good way to pimp his name for the movie, too) written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, as you see below, it provided Michael McDowell (his name was a regular on the Darkside show) with a chance to take the skeleton of the story and apply it to a college campus competition scenario.

Lot 249 isn’t any great shakes, in regards to its overtly familiar plot developments and characters, except it looks so damn good. So beautifully photographed, and the budget for this film was impressive considering the show was not particularly funded well, by Robert Draper (he was also behind the camera for Halloween 5 and Dr. Giggles). Draper directed sixteen episodes of the Darkside series! So he had connections to the horror genre prior to Tales from the Darkside movie. Still, he applied a slick noirish look with his darkness at times, and I think Lot 249 certainly benefited from Draper’s talents. An aesthetic so pleasing does somewhat disguise the obviousness of the plot as it unfolds (if you have seen Universal or Hammer mummy movies from the past, Lot 249’s twists and story won’t lead to a mind blown). Still it is fun to see a fresh set of young faces who had or would soon posit some important characterizations. Slater, of course, was the recognizable face of the tale while Moore would eclipse him later with her incredible body of work.

 ...including me, Julianne, you delish redhead.

The elements of the mummy revenge plot are here. A mummy is discovered and a scroll can control him. He is at the mercy of the vengeful person who reads passages in Egyptian that control him from the scroll and must do the bidding of the reciting orator. A number of victims are in the cross hairs of the orator who wants to get back at them for wronging him. This is the basics of any revenge plot, but the only difference to say those of the past is that the mummy is used to annihilate those that caused problems to his new master. In the past, the mummy was used as a weapon against “infidels” who robbed the graves of Egyptian leaders laid to rest in tombs meant to stay sealed.

The unfortunate use of a hanger hook up the nose and scissor slice down the back that results in stuffed flowers inside the wound are just two of the methods executed by the mummy before Slater’s tricks up his sleeve deprive Buscemi of seeing the killer trifecta (although, it appears Buscemi hadn’t seemed to plan to use the mummy to destroy him) through the mummy’s hands. Although Buscemi has a trick of his own, for which Slater will soon discover after he decides to spare him in favor of retrieving the scroll and burning it up so it couldn’t be used to endanger anyone else. Big, stupid mistake! That moronic decision, which I imagine will have some scratching their heads, leaves Buscemi giggling in a cab while admitting to the cabbie that it amuses him that Slater couldn’t tell the difference in the writings on a scroll. Slater will pay for allowing Buscemi to escape unscathed. Slater goes the Jack Nicholson route with his zingers as he renders the mummy ineffective while Buscemi is bound and tied to a chair. I’m amazed when it appears he is so determined to get revenge he’d just let Buscemi go…rather contrived, to say the least.

So, Lot 249 wasn’t exactly a gamechanger in the killer mummy genre, but it gives you faces who would go on to leave their mark (Buscemi and Moore, specifically; while Slater would eventually flame out, only to appear in far less significant fare, with Uwe Boll’s Alone in the Dark being a major low point.) in the years to come. That and the mummy has a grotesque, rotted quality that is visually imposing enough if a bit familiar (and less scary than even the mummy in The Monster Squad, I felt!) in its look. I take away how well photographed it is ultimately, and the pace doesn’t catch much of a breath…probably because the plot isn’t enriched with details that request a tale any longer than it is.