Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

The red orchid so desirably sought after in Anacondas (2004) has properties that could result in retaining youth, a pill that takes the place of plastic surgery, quite the billion dollar revolutionary discovery. Its location, however, is in the jungles of Borneo where (something’s always getting eaten) a certain number of anacondas are just waiting to gobble up anything or, more importantly in this movie, anyone that comes in close contact with them.

Dwight Little isn’t a name the horror genre recognizes as one of its masters. He’s had the likes of Halloween IV & Phantom of the Opera (with Robert Englund and Jill Schoelen). Here, his film is loosely (I think extremely loosely) linked with the Jennifer Lopez/Ice Cub vehicle Anaconda (1997) where Jon Voight was swallowed whole by one of the gigantic snakes. The heavy in The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is played by Matthew Marsden, quite the sneaky snake himself. He’s Dr. Jack Byron, intensely devoted to finding the orchid, willing to even eventually kill if that’s what it takes to successfully recover a bag full of the flowers to take back to home to the States. Sam (KaDee Strickland, using a high-strung Southern accent) is his assistant. Morris Chestnut is probably the most recognizable face of the cast as Mitchell, a suit responsible for convincing his pharmaceutical executives at the company he’s employed to fund the Borneo expedition. Salli Richardson-Whitfield is Gail, an executive with the company accompanying the expedition, with a duty to remain in contact with her superiors as to the progress. Eugene Byrd is stuck with the role of always-frightened-to-the-point-that-he-is-likely-to-shit-his-pants-at-any-moment token black supporting character who says “ai’ght” and seems on the verge of jumping out of his skin at any moment. Byrd’s name is Cole, and he’s right a lot of the time regarding the dangers of the jungle (and how he should be at home in nice courtside seats at the Garden instead of his current situation). Nicholas Gonzalez is the cook, the charmer always hitting on Sam, and kind of cocky, so it is obvious he’s a goner the moment he first appears. Johnny Messner is a former Special Forces officer, Bill, the group commission to take them to where the orchid blooms; his boat, the Bloody Mary, a kind of beat-up POS that he describes as “ugly but can still put out” is the only one that will hit the rough waters that lead to the location of the orchid during the “rainy season”. Karl Yune is Tran, Bill’s boat assistant.

The group head off for Borneo, soon encountering flooding waters, wooded debris, an alligator (that Bill kills with just his trusty knife (amazing knife that is, and Bill sure knows how to use it!), even as it does the death roll), a damaged engine, and a trip down a waterfall that leaves them without a boat, soon having to cut a swath through the jungle when no ride is available to them. What are available to them: anacondas and plenty of dangers (like a paralyzing spider and leeches) the jungle provides.

CGI snakes will never quite convince, I’m afraid; to me, that’s just to be expected. I think what does work is the idea itself that a bunch of male anacondas are converging upon a location to find a female of their species to mate, with a human collective endangered, that provides the necessary excitement (the characters on the offensive/defensive as snakes and other elements of surprise come against them), nail-biting moments of suspense (where are they out in that jungle and under the water, and when will the snakes strike?), and timely jolts telegraphed (characters vulnerable when their attentions are diverted; I think you can just about expect the snakes to appear, yet there were times I still jumped a bit) at just the right time. Still seeing Chestnut sacrificed by Marsden because he threatened the expedition’s success, the spider rendering him useless, soon food for an anaconda, is quite a memorable moment, as is how Bill uses an appropriately timed knife stab/throw into the head of another snake on the verge of feeding on a coiled Cole. I totally dug a couple of shots of the snakes underwater as Little establishes their presence while characters walking among them are oblivious to such dangers of such close proximity. Jack’s emergence as a heel is no surprise because films of this variety always seem to have someone so consumed by greed and the need to gain a certain level of status such an orchid provides. The ways he jeopardizes everyone and, especially, himself kind of left me rolling my eyes, though, certainly when he attempts to retrieve a bag holding the orchids so close to a “ball” of male anacondas.

Bill is cut right out of the mold Cinemax holds dear in regards to tough bad asses, with a muscular, blue collar build the ladies take a shine to; he has bravery-to-the-point-of-stupidity, heading right into peril with a degree of conscious awareness and knowing experience of what lurks in the environments of the Borneos of the world. He is the kind of character I could easily see in Strike Back or Banshee. Sam is the heroine of the film who mutinies against Jack when she knows he’s in the wrong, persuaded with a gun pointed towards her to cross a rotted log (with the anaconda ball below her) to get the orchids when her boss has “gone off the grid”. These movies are designed with a young woman developing into a heroine as the situation permits acts of heroism in order to survive. Unlike Bill who has a dearth of experience in encountering scenarios where survivalist skills/training are vital, Sam is a college grad looking to move up in her scientific field, not accustomed to evading anacondas in the wilds of Borneo. Jack is the plot device needed to place the characters further into peril, and functions as the Jon Voight of Anacondas regarding his fate meeting the applause of the audience awaiting his well deserved demise.

There isn’t anything here you haven’t seen on numerous Saturdays on the Syfy Channel, with stock characters quite typical of creature features over the years. Giant snakes, humans who have no business being on a boat anywhere near Borneo, and a climax where the two converge make the rounds in various forms (giant animals of all types munching on humans of all types, in locations from the jungle to tourist traps), with no end in sight. I think The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is actually one of the better examples mainly because its production values are rather decent and the direction/pace of the film keeps things humming along so we aren’t forced to get too bogged down in ludicrous plot developments (the way certain characters are allowed out of certain deaths, like Cole and Sam, and the orchids “fountain of youth” capabilities). The cast apply the performances necessary for the characters they’re given, and there’s enough heroism—and whipping snakes unfurling at the screen with mouths open wide—to hold attention. Chalk this up to stupid fun, and nothing more. On a Saturday afternoon, I could do worse. I caught this on Cinemax, not Syfy Channel, so I was able to avoid commercial interruptions, although the snake gulping humans isn’t all that graphic and happens primarily away from our eyes. I believe, if I’m not mistaken, this is a Syfy Channel mainstay, often servicing killer snakes marathons. Maybe that’s why it is looked upon with such contempt.