Hide and Go Shriek [1988]

Teenagers have graduated high school and decide to celebrate in the furniture mall owned by the father of one of them. They have no idea that a killer hides in the darkness with plans to kill them. Could it be the hired help currently residing in the mall's basement? Or perhaps someone else entirely?
**½

After a very unflattering overhead shot of LA (the buildings look run down and ready for demolition), we are taken into a furniture store where a young man puts on make-up, tightens his tie, sizes up himself inside his suit, and makes sure his fedora fits snug before hitting the streets looking for a hooker to rod then stab, leaving her dead carcass bleeding out in an alley.

We are introduced to an assortment of high school graduates planning to celebrate at a furniture store afterhours (one among these kids is the son of furniture store owner) with plans to split up and shag. The opening scene’s killer plans to disrupt such grandiose plans and intrude upon what should be a night to remember, turning it into a nightmare instead. I could detail their babblings about preparing for sex (both the girls and the boys), their wardrobes and sexual experiences. Maybe talk about how their van comes to a designated stop and the group exit the vehicle, running around it, and re-entering at different points than before. But such details are of so little use because they function as minor anecdotes before each member is thrusted into turmoil thanks to an unstable maniac. Good times these kids share as Walk This Way is stringed in a guitar solo, though.

Once inside the furniture mall (it is a bit too big to be labeled just a store), the gang split up and play hide & go seek. It is soon established that the killer shown at the beginning is among them, just hiding off in the shadows until the right time, biding it and watching from just a short distance. I like a particular shot where the shadowy silhouette of the killer (with his fedora) edges upward on the wall right beside a nearby mannequin. While the others are preoccupied with their game, making out when separated couples, and focusing on the night’s activities, the killer has the advantage of that element of surprise.

If I have learned anything about watching 80s movies, it is that regardless of the attire of the day, the styles that have us looking back and wincing, no matter how geeky and glam-less the girls seem to be (look, enough’s been documented on the guys; it is well known how dorky and cheesy we were then), when the requirement of clothing is loosed, I’m often left mouth agape at the treats unveiled. Such is the case of Judy (Donna Baltron), rather shy and while seemingly all in to having sex with David (George Thomas), there’s hesitation (obviously because of her virginal status) and timidity. She has that look of the girl you study for the final exam with and seems fit for Saved by the Bell…with an innocence and vulnerability often the case with the girl next door image / quality. She is that third friend in the group that has a cheerleader getting all the attention…nothing about her cries “major hottie”. Then when the coast seems clear and the other groups are off to their own beds, Judy sheds all of this and there’s this nice surprise unwrapped, an eyeful of succulent delight David couldn’t have possibly been prepared for no matter the nice kissy-face that had occurred throughout their time in the mall.

The males of the group are a who’s who of dork and knucklehead. One has spiked hair and wears shades for almost the whole film. He’s the member of the bunch that leaves eyes rolling; obnoxious and always clowning, those in his accompaniment find him impossible. His girlfriend is what my friend calls a bimbo. She’s the one who instigates the hide and seek, and, among her girls, is probably the most experienced sexually, as well as, totally aware of her boyfriend’s goofy personality. She seems to enjoy him, despite his antics. The first two victims are the younger boy/girl pairing, not sure if they’d make a proper couple, soon sparks fly, but before they can address the attraction that exists in a sexual way, the killer interrupts. Then you have the jock (he’s the son of the furniture mall owner) and his scantily clad squeeze who wears her shirt above the navel (with no bra) and a mini skirt (with lots of frizzy long hair to boot). So when numbers dwindle (as they inevitably do), and those remaining become unnerved at all the “mannequin mischief” (director Schoolnick milks the mannequins for all their worth), not able to find those friends missing, tempers flare and anxiety increases. Add chained doors, an employee just released from prison and allowed to stay in the basement (with ominous snake tattoos and a prison mainstay disposition), and a darkened mall with limited visibility, then the tensions rise as expected with something sinister seems to be afoot.

I guess what I do find amusing about this slasher as opposed to others is that truthfully the deaths that do happen occur not because of anything the victims did; in actuality, the back story for the killer concerns a character not among their group. It makes the reveal one of those, “Well, I certainly didn’t see that coming…” A red herring in the slasher is the currently employed ex-con who seems like the ideal candidate to lose it and go on a killing spree. That said, it’s highly unlikely he’d be the guilty one. But how he does factor into the murders feeds the revealing twist’s surreal nature. It just kind of left me rather awestruck at the audacity to go in that direction instead of the typical (well, the victims are tied to the killer because he was wronged by them or theirs, and therefore they must die to make him whole again) fashion so oft-used.

It is well established that the killer tries on the wardrobes of those he kills. His first appearance showed him putting on make-up. Late in the film he has on S&M garb and lipstick (and eyeliner), in the mood to cut some of the survivors, and rather evasive when his quarry put up a fight. It seems his whole purpose is to “clean the place up” so he and the one he loves can have a “happy home”. It is rather a startlingly out of left field motive for terrorizing and killing (this included impaling a victim with a mannequin arm, tying up one of the girls naked later trying to harm her in some way, and (in the craziest spot) lifts up a victim by his neck (off his feet) and soon has him overhead (!), dropping the kid on spikes.) the teenagers. It is what it is, though. While the idea that he could take a dive down three floors in an elevator shaft and survive, to have a fade to black where he looks at us from the driver’s seat of an ambulance just places extra emphasis on how absurd Hide and Go Shriek really is.

The cast’s performances won’t be comparable to Olivier, and their emoting skills are a tad bit overwrought, but they fit into the kitschy charm of it all. Seeing two lovers from prison having a love spat while the last survivors look on puzzled and in stunned silence puts the icing on the cake. Quite a conclusion.

There was a lot more boobs that I remembered and the violence never quite pushes the potency limit of the faint of heart like say, Maniac (1980), but the knife in the throat isn’t too bad a gore moment. I think it is all about the lame characters and amateurish performances that really make Hide and Go Shriek a pleasurable bit of junk to enjoy. The setting isn’t too shabby, actually, with the furniture mall low lit and full of darkened floors and the characters constantly bump into mannequins (certain to unnerve even more considering a killer could be around any corner or pop up from behind beds and couches) which the director never fails to place significance in how the night and lack of light produces creepy effects behind those soulless eyes and fixed expressions. This won’t be mistaken for high art, that’s for sure, and is rather cheap and while there’s plenty of room, the singular location of the building does seem to become quite a confinement / prison. Running around with nowhere to go, the option, you’d think, would be to stand your ground, strength in numbers, and wait out the killer for a showdown face to face. That happens and doesn’t bode well for the characters because they’re just too disorganized, scared, and shaken to such a considerable degree while the killer is totally in control and determined to see the endgame fulfilled so he can have that happy home with the love who no longer wants him.