V/H/S/99

Shredding: I grew up addicted to X-games and skateboarding/snowboarding content around 1998-ish. You know, following the exploits of talents as they travel from place to place living the dream. And, for some reason, Bitchcraft reminded me of The Donnas or something akin to maybe Hole. So this footage on a VHS tape had those kinda vibes. The converging of footage of the band looking to make it big and friends goofing off and looking for whatever next thrill might happen sort of made sense considering when there would be tracking/white noise “blips”, each would pop up and intrude on the other. It was inevitable the band might emerge as some type of zombies or ghouls (I just figured they sold their souls for success and maybe somehow died) ready to tear apart of the merry band of thrill-seeking youths intruding upon their former stage.

I have to say that all of the cast look like TikTok Gen Z so that took away some of the authenticity, but minor grapes, I guess.

The “Double Dare” Nick teens show of “Ozzy’s Dungeon”, the torture room Detroit basement debasement of the game show host, and the cave with a woman seen in the audience from the show giving “birth” to a “wish creature” granting a victim of the game show (suffering a fractured leg through the obstacle course forcing her into a wheelchair) resulting in her parents’ receiving an unexpected surprise went in some directions I definitely wasn’t anticipating. The recreation of the show was especially bravo.

I admit that I didn’t know of any “suicide bid” where you forgo other chances to join another sorority if the one you “go all in for” doesn’t accept, but I can’t tell you how many of these stories involving pranks or pledges gone horribly wrong resulting in terror towards those responsible I’ve seen in the horror genre. I will give this one credit for how creepy Guiltine looked, quite rotted and hideous, right out of a nightmare. Lily’s predicament certainly will probably have many with claustrophobia or taphophobia going, “Oh, hell no.”

Sandra taught the obnoxious teens looking to peep on a naked woman next door through a sneaky web cam voyeurism that looks can kill. 

They were definitely dropping Y2K a lot since that was definitely on the consciousness of many at that time in 1999.

I guess word to the wise: don’t be anywhere near, partake in, or even consider being in the same room of any ceremony requesting the presence of Lord Ukabon, as you could wind up running about the feeding grounds of some hellscape avoiding demonic flesheaters.

As Mabel the skull biter says, “Shh, fresh souls taste best.”

**/*****