October doldrums

 I used to just love Octobers and while the month is probably my favorite along with December, it can be a real nightmare. It's like I have all these movies that often remain mainstays and feel essential as annual watches within the month. And a couple of years ago during the Pandemic era I thought I'd just watch all of them prior to October and relieve myself of that burden. That I could just watch one film a night and not feel as if I was cheating on the month like owing sex to someone via a contract or something.

I am not OCD but first world problems I guess. There is just something in my brain, like these debates about enjoying the month and season without applying this insane expectation of getting all the shit in before the 31st. I have been trying to get my reviews in for all the classics in Letterboxd so I could start to watch first-time viewed horror films. It's just like so many others, it is quite a tall order to do. So eventually by the third week of the month the excitement and enthusiasm on the 1st erodes and I feel by the 31st I let myself down and could have done more to make the most of this wonderful time of the year. Again, these are just such small grapes, not even issues that should mean anything. I know I need to quit putting pressure on myself to watch so much then get bummed when I can fulfill such lofty plans.