Twilight Zone Marathon 2022 (January 1st)

Rod Serling introduces A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain

2:20am – On Thursday We Leave For Home*

3:10am – A Short Drink From a Certain Fountain**

3:35am – You Drive***

4:00am – The Self-Improvement of Salvatore Ross****

4:30am – Spur of the Moment*****

6:00am – Mute

*While I totally see the point of the story – that Benteen is losing his community and tries desperately to hold on while most of them are ready to go their separate ways once reaching earth through the assistance of a rescue mission – I really have a hard time truly accepting Benteen would actually stay behind on a miserable, hot, dry, sweltering, lacking in food and water barren rock while those who were once with him decided they were ready for a much better life back on the planet of their ancestors…where they belong. Benteen was actually losing his status as some Leader Supreme, his word was gospel, his feelings were followed, his orders seemingly met. And here comes a rescue mission, commanded by a reasonable man offering these tired, hungry, yearning people a chance to get off that rock, Col Sloan an alternative to Benteen. I can understand why “On Thursday, We Leave for Home” is revered as perhaps the best episode of the fourth season. Seeing Benteen reach his hands up, extending his arms to the sky as the ship leaves him behind because of his own inability to grasp the concept that his community just wants to get off this damned heap of hot rock they were wasting away on, no longer wanting to remain under his rule. Col Sloan doesn’t present himself as anything threatening to them, but what he represents to Benteen is a challenge to his rule. So the ship blasts off and Benteen is left behind…begging to come aboard as the ship leaves orbit. I’m like, “You fool. You stubborn narcissist.” I get that is the point. But I can’t help but think he is just so stupid. Like, how else was this going to end? Were you so convinced they would just bend to your will that they would choose some place far more habitable and tolerable than a lifetime of abject  strife and suffering. I find the conclusion baffling if just because Benteen didn’t see the end result…no one was about to choose to stay behind. Why would they?!

**Harmon, 40 years older than his sexy blond wife, has a brother who happens to be a scientist working on a youth serum that might deage those who are old. Raymond believes Harmon should enjoy his remaining years with someone who would love him for him, not his wealth. But Harmon adores the harpy, a selfish Flora who wants to spend the money while slinging stinging barbs at her husband because he can’t keep up with her. Raymond, the scientist, relents to his brother who will leap from the balcony of their luxurious condo if he has to remain this supposed aging relic his wife can’t stand the sight of. The thought that Flora will now be left in charge of Harmon as a child is laughable. No way she wouldn’t leave him and just get a divorce while Harmon is kept by benefactors certain to benefit from raising him.

***A car responsible for Ollie eventually surrending to the authorities for hitting the paperboy is such a Twilight Zone kind of plot, I think. You might substitute the car for Ollie’s conscience, not allowing him to get away with a crime, a hit-and-run he didn’t answer for, even willing to let a co-worker taking the fall for. Ollie’s doting wife, dutiful but unwilling to tolerate the car, always disagreeable until the wrong is righted, hasn’t a clue just what her husband is capable of. 2:35 in the morning, I am right in the early stages of the second day of the SYFY New Year’s Marathon. “You Drive” is right in a spot I think it belongs. I’ve always liked this one. It was never necessarily upper tier Zone, but the car gimmick, operating on its own as an avatar for this cosmic justice unwilling to let Ollie just escape scot-free of any reckoning, is a lot of fun. The moment where Ollie’s wife talks about the madman running around free of arrest to the very one she’s unaware *is* that madman is a riot. Pete, a really nice guy who just wanted to help Ollie, gets an earful of this nasty piece of work. Ollie is that paranoid jerk, insecure and on edge because he killed a kid and is afraid of this young buck he feels will replace him.

****I don’t think I’ve ever sat down and put together a review for “The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross”. It hasn’t ever been a priority. It was often on at a time during the marathon when I sort of hit a fatigue. And the episode never really latched on to me. Sal is a guy who just wants Leah. He doesn’t love her, he just wants her. Her dad tries to protect her from him because he seems to lack compassion, kindness, and a soft side. Sal’s hard, selfish, dogged, learning of a magic he has to “trade” for such things as youth/age, feelings, ailments, etc. And through this “gift” he gains wealth and eventually Leah. Personally I don’t think Leah’s father would trade his greatest attributes for money, nor do I think Leah would be so easily convinced to fall heavy for Sal in just a day after trading his personality for her father’s. The goodness he never had is received and her father gets Sal’s cold, crummy, disregarding nature. I had a hard time just believing Leah’s father would shoot Sal dead, and the ending where the camera is at a high angle where Sal’s body flops to the floor, canvassing the large part of the room with the father completely out of scope is just off to me. The gimmick of the episode – trading away “pieces of you” just to get a woman your after out of spite – didn’t click with me. Never has. Not sure it ever will. 

***** As much as I like the idea of a twist regarding who Anne chooses to be her husband not resulting in the grand romance and happy ending that many a romantic might consider to be the ending they envision, played out as this tragic soap opera – the man that her parents didn’t pick for her, a wild card with a passion burning bright who flames out as a pitiful failure leaving her ultimately miserable, while the smart, financially sure-thing who appears to be a millionaire in the making, coming from “good family stock” doesn’t appeal to her youthful spirit perhaps because he’s not full of bravado and sex magnetism – the decision to try and alter the future by driving your horse towards yourself of the past in this banshee shriek that just encourages her to press her own horse towards home as fast as possible seems clueless and curious. Why, in your 40s, if given the chance to approach yourself at 20, would you squander this opportunity by presenting yourself as terrifying as possible?

******“Mute” dealing sensitively with the story of a young mute telepath (her teacher refers to her as a medium, knowing this because she can actually communicate with the girl herself through thought to thought) whose parents died in a fire I applaud. And her temporary adopted parents (the police officer father played Gig Young’s dad in “Walking Distance”) try to adapt to their child’s inability to communicate due to trauma and the training that involved her speaking through the mind not by mouth. We even see such training with her father. But an hour episode of this story really, admittedly, drags for me. I think this is better for another type of science fiction show that more melodramatic. If this is 30 minutes, I might could tolerate it more, but truthfully after about 35 minutes, I’m ready for the next episode. For the most part, the fourth season just isn’t for me. There are occasions I’d love to see certain episodes extended, such as “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?” or “The Masks” (just because I like when grandpa cuts his awful family down to size with all kinds of witty verbal stabs), but I just think “Walking Distance” is an example of what magic can be made when something sentimental and humanistic is distilled of any real dragging weight.

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I woke up after staying up until early morning of the first, and since it was like 2:30 in the afternoon, I decided I would really kick things off with “Where Is Everybody?” This was chosen by SYFY for their second episode following “The Parallel”. I couldn’t stay awake for it since I had work, so I figured it would be a good launching point for my next block of episodes. Actually I was thinking about how “The Parallel” and “Where is Everybody?” would be a nice block for a series of “astronaut” episodes featuring astronauts in a series of crisis. Since The Twilight Zone often throws such heroes into the worst kind of situations, a block of episodes gives us an idea of how Serling could envision what astronauts might encounter as they pursue information and education “beyond the boundaries of Earth”.

Mr. Denton on Doomsday

3:00am – Where is Everybody?

3:30am – One For the Angels

4:00am – Mr. Denton on Doomsday

My daughter actually watched the first three episodes of Twilight Zone with me. I was sort of thrilled with that since she normally doesn’t. Our internet was out so I couldn’t post as I wanted. Anyway, I was sort of mulling over my lineup for the 4:30 PM Afternoon block after deciding on the first three episodes of the Twilight Zone as a “launching point” for the early afternoon. It was fun watching “One For the Angels” with my daughter since she knows Wynn from “Mary Poppins” and “Alice in Wonderland” and knows Hamilton (who is Death) as the mayor from “Jaws”, one of her favorite films. Sometimes autistcs have difficult time with nuance, so trying to explain “Henry J Fate” to her in regards to “Rummy” (Mr. Al Denton, actually) and how he’s able to reclaim his dignity after a bout with declining alcoholism in “Mr. Denton on Doomsday” was a bit of a difficulty. But I did, and there are rewards for introducing Twilight Zone to your kids, I think. I am a bit of a sentimentalist along with my nostalgia whoredom. So I want my daughter to look back when I’m gone and watch Twilight Zone fondly with memories of us together involved.

The Hitchhiker

8:30pm – The Hitch-Hiker

8:55pm – The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

Man, when I watch “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street”, I continue to realize the episode has lost none of its power. I will listen to people on news shows nowadays or watch politics blogs and realize how frightening and prophetic this episode really, really was. One of the aliens looking to colonize and conquest tells the other, all they have to do is encourage a reason of suspicion and watch as humans destroy themselves. Judging by what I see today, that certainly works.

“The Hitchhiker” was an episode I just recently revisited, but this is marathon-time, so whether I’ve seen this five days ago or a few months, when it comes to New Year’s or (as in the past) 4th of July, Nan Martin’s journey through her cross-country limbo looking to stay away from that hitchhiker, but never able to escape him is essential viewing. And always feels best as a prime time must. Though, I have mentioned before that the episode feels great as a fun early afternoon marathon delight, as well. But because I woke up late today after staying up to six in the morning – watching TZ, of course – “The Hitchhiker” felt right for my 5:00 block. My daughter didn’t quite know who hitchhiker was, so I had to sort of had to go through my shpiel and clue her in. Again, raising autistic kids into teenage years, nuance can be a bit difficult. A lot of times they can only see things literally, understanding what they see without that deep thinking that Serling’s scripts (among others) could challenge his viewers with. Since we had just watched “One For the Angels” previously, I talked to her about how hitchhiker was similar. That Nan was running away from death, and that death finally caught up with her. Well, death, the afterlife, whatever cosmic or religious angle you prefer. I went with the easiest of explanations.

10:00am – The After Hours

7:15pm – Living Doll

Living Doll

My favorite block for the marathon, I decided on a fun combination of “The After Hours” and “Living Doll”. Mannequins and a doll, I’m sure I’ve had them in lineups, but I can’t recall back to back. I’ve watched a ton of marathons in my time, though. I’ve basically taking from SYFY and making some of my own blocks due to selection preferences. My daughter admitted that mannequins creeped her out a bit. I had my Twilight Zone companion out (from Mark Scott Zicree, author) and she wanted to read it excitedly. Who was I to refuse? And she clearly chose to look away at times, during (especially) the closeup shots of mannequin faces. It proved that all these years, mannequins still give folks the creeps. I also had my Encyclopedia out this year, so I made sure to take a pic of Millhollin and see if they had more information than I usually find about him. His distinctive facial features and expressions, the dizzying, nervous nature about him, is a real picture of the busy floor manager looking to see that the ladies are out trying to get that big sell. In “Living Doll”, Erich’s trying to destroy the doll is edited out of SYFY’s presentation, proving that there is something “other” about it the insecure, irritable, often cranky stepfather couldn’t just obliterate. But the doll sure takes care of him! Foray’s voice for the doll is precocious and sweet but she adds just the right amount of underlying menace behind the words to know violence was always a possibility. “You better be nice to me.” Sadly, Beaumont, I learned, didn’t exactly write the screenplay; it was ghostwritten off an idea shared between him and Stohl…Beaumont’s “brain disorder” was deteriorating by that point in this premature dementia-like illness. 

Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?

11:00pm – Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?

While I don’t like to watch this episode as edited by SYFY (especially when they show it with commercials at only 25 minutes!), as I explained to my daughter, I’ll typically make an exception during marathon time. But who am I kidding? I can’t just watch this once a year. This is one of the great marathon episodes. Yes, you can pick it apart and find the flaws. But as an episode that is just so much fun from beginning to end, this is the one I wish never would end. So few of the TZ episodes are a “whodunnit” in the sense that one among a diner of visitors is a Martian with a third arm later revealed who could dangerous to everyone. Jack Elam’s face and odd behavior are just perfect red herring theater. But if you notice, anytime folks direct vocal opposition to him, crazy things start to happen, such as the jukebox playing or the lights going on and off. This was something I noticed this go-around. Thinking about it, this episode does seem perfect for its timeslot SYFY had for December 31st. I can recall watching this beauty late at night, but if I consider an episode deserved of the prime time marathon slot, it is this one.

Time Enough at Last

7:40pm – Time Enough at Last

I was laughing at how Henry jumps when his wife is hiding behind a door, startling him because he’s found a hidden book, realizing later she has scribbled all through it. Why did she marry this “fool”? I mean, why would she want to even have some “art of conversation” with this guy since she clearly detests him? She orders him around and reminds me of perhaps how it would’ve been between Norma Bates and her son, Norman. While this is the iconic episode often celebrated, it isn’t one of my favorites as I have attested to in the past. But when Henry moves through the wreckage, finding his oh so serious bank president boss buried underneath the rubble, the overall impact remains quite potent. Granted, Henry Bemis would have suffered the fallout, for sure. At least the bank president wouldn’t have endured a harsh cancer. Or the aftermath of the H-bomb fumbling around a destroyed landscape with blurry vision!

1:25pm – The Arrival

This episode was coming on when I was working the early afternoon of the 31st, and I was like, “Nope, I need to save this one.” The phantom plane that Aviation investigator, Mr. Sheckley never could uncover the mystery of, Flight 107 out of Buffalo. He never could lick it, so an elaborate concoction orchestrated by his mind, produced by an obsession (or narcissism) that continues to haunt him, leads him back to Bengston’s hanger, with public relations man, Malloy, totally confused as to why Sheckley has barged in wondering what is going on since they were (in Sheckley’s mind) going over a plane that landed in the hanger with no crew or passengers. I LOVE the first half of the episode and always will. But the second half just continues to feel like a bit of a copout…and still leaves open a plothole as to how Sheckley knew the names of people he hadn’t actually met prior to entering their office…how could Sheckley know Bengsten and Malloy since he never met them, folks who were in his delusion and legit of the aviation company he arrived at, too? I tried to rationalize, considering Sheckley had perhaps met them or seen them at some point prior to his “episode”. But the eerie vibe of that opening fifteen or so minutes really explains a lot of why I love this show. The empty plane where passengers should have been, hanger personnel confused and baffled by this very peculiar supernatural event that has everyone scrambling for answers. This is the good stuff.

10:30pm – The Obsolete Man

11:00pm – Midnight Sun

I admit that these two episodes as cut by SYFY just don’t “cut the mustard” with me. Especially “Midnight Sun”, with that so important death scene removed from the episode, removing the horrible impact of loss that emphasizes how hot and damaging the earth’s approach towards the sun out of its orbit really is. I admit that I lose focus on the power of the episode briefly because Lois Nettleton, in nothing more than a gown, is just an attractive woman to me. When she’s all alone, the paint melts, and mercury breaks from the thermometer, there is no one left to be with her as she collapses and fries. Her scream is just…well, it, along with the sweat and heat exhaustion, is something you don’t soon forget. “The Obsolete Man” has a closing line from Serling that would probably send some folks today into a cursing fit. I know where Serling was coming from. But with the vax against the unvaxxed, blue vs red, left vs. right, who is a bigot or a racist or a xenophobe, who deserves to live and die, who is obsolete and doesn’t deserve the dignity to live among society, all that shit, I’m sure Serling’s closing monologue at the end as the former Chancellor is being drug off a table by those who once agreed with him on executing the “obsolete” of their choosing to be “taken care of” (I almost expect to see arms and legs tossed out of the pile as the mob collects in a horde over him) will trigger some folks. Part of it: Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of man, that state is obsolete. I’m sure that line would be disputed by half a country as the other half cheers it on.

3:30pm – The Trade-Ins

3:55pm – Hocus-Pocus and Frisby

4:20pm – Young Man’s Fancy

5:10pm – An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge

5:35pm – The New Exhibit

Joseph Schildkraut in “The Trade-Ins” just breaks my heart. Just the pain his Mr. Vance endures, trying to hold it together, his inability to ward it off through “mind over matter” (something I couldn’t resist using since Twilight Zone did a lot), the intensity of it he very well brings to the fore. You so badly want him to get that young body. His wife having to see the young male body taken off while the young female body for her is left in the display case is equally heart-wrenching. I do ask myself, though: why doesn’t Mr. Vance use his young body to earn that extra $5 grand and eventually get it for his wife? The gambling scene where Marcuse’s Farraday decides to let Vance keep his $5 grand during a big poker game instead of “cleaning him out” is an uplifting moment in an episode that really depresses me. Knowing that instead of keeping his fit, athletic body without the pain so he could die at age with his wife, while I recognize the enduring love of that decision, the thought still remains that he’ll die in anguish as the pain probably increases over whatever time he has left.

“This guy’s a meteorologist, I’m Vice President Johnson.”

“You know the only industrious thing about Frisby’s whole body is his mouth.”

Let’s see: “Archimedes Frisby”, “Cumulus Frisby”, and “Rear Engine Frisby” are just some of the nicknames great names of history have called a general store and gas station owner named Frisby…according to him. To most of us, pot-bellied Frisby in his overalls is a blabbermouth “spinner of the tall tale”, but in “Hocus-Pocus and Frisby”, aliens are led to believe he is some superior human specimen worthy of carrying back with them! He’s the kind of guy I would have plopped my ass down next to in a rocking chair just giggling along with McNear, Dabbs Greer, and Clem as the guy tosses whoppers right and left. Being from the South, this kind of character would lean against a fence and spin yarns with some of my kin. I swear I had an uncle who looked a lot like him! Pitchville Flats looks a lot like many towns in Mississippi!

This was my first viewing of “Young Man’s Fancy”. I can see why it is never mentioned hardly in conversation. I hardly ever see it featured in marathons of the past. I’m sure it pops up, but I would never give it a nice later afternoon spot. If it was in a marathon I’d just drop it early morning when most folks are asleep. Virginia is living in denial, unwilling to accept that her husband is a mommy’s boy and will never be hers. Alex even as an adult man seems to remain a child stuck in the past. Ugh, Virginia even tries to appeal to Alex in selling his mother’s house, desperate to get him out of there and on a honeymoon so he won’t revert back to where he ultimately does: he wants his mommy back and to be a kid again. This is not for me. Not my kind of story. Alex looks like he’s 45 and acts as if he’s 7. I have no idea why Virginia has wasted 12 fucking years with this guy, some of that time in combat for his affections with Mrs. Walker prior to her death. Virginia actually waiting a year *after* Mrs. Walker’s death for Alex to finally marry her just leaves me scratching my head. I don’t know why this woman was miserably stuck in a dead-end relationship this long. Let the guy bet with his mom and find a guy who will actually consider your feelings! Eventually Alex is a boy and Mrs. Walker is manufactured because her son manifested her out of his clinging to the past. I think “Static” comes to mind while I watched this episode. A longing for the past so badly that you actually get it. Virginia loses to a ghost, a figment recreated by some guy she waited 12 years for…12 years wasted on a guy with serious mommy issues. Almost the entirety of the episode, I could hear psychiatrists nodding their head in unison: Giiiiirrrrllll, get away from that guy and get you someone living in the here and now! I will say the coolest part of the episode is Rod Serling’s intro from inside the damned house of Mrs. Walker. It is like he’s an intruder preparing us for their entry, even looking out the window, pulling aside the curtain as they approach the driveway. As host, Serling’s placements are often quite creative, but this is probably one of my favorites, even as the episode itself just doesn’t do anything for me at all.

I do remain surprised that “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” has continued in syndication and part of the Twilight Zone package. I would have assumed this short film made one appearance as a “special tale”, and that’d be it. But here it is again in 2021 on New Year’s Eve in a plush 5:10 pm Eastern spot, 4:10 Central where I live. I have not watched this since it aired once in the 90s. I’m not sure exactly when but watching it at 12:20 AM on January 2nd, I can say I have missed it every  other time it might have aired on SYFY. I did check Decades schedule, and “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” isn’t listed during their three-day marathon. A man set for execution, his neck in a very well-tied noose and his feet tied efficiently with fabric tightly, seems to escape through a rope-break, landing in water under Owl Creek Bridge, swimming into the current until he reaches shore, seemingly dedicated to getting back to the love of his life. As he approaches a gate that opens on its own for him, as if the Pearly Gates, this man runs and runs until he sees the love of his life, walking towards her loving arms, until a jerk wrenches him back to reality where he’s dead from the rope meant to execute him. I think I’d love to pair this in a festival of French films, along with Red Balloon among others. The thing is: while I was watching this, it feels out of place. It wasn’t made by Serling and his team so it feels as if it doesn’t quite belong. That is by no means a knock at all. I think it is beautifully made. And I will watch it again, certainly not waiting another thirty years inbetween. I guess I just never really put any effort in a revisit because it isn’t really a Twilight Zone episode in a technical sense. But it is nonetheless a worthwhile experience. I don’t include it in my Twilight Zone Favorites list from best to least, but it is still such an achievement. I’m glad, though, it is featured in current physical media sets. To own it is a good thing.

“The New Exhibit” really leaves me even more impressed with Martin Balsam, seemingly a reverse on his PI in “Psycho” (1960), playing this meek, soft-spoken, timid little man, not as much intimidating as he has this spooky “something’s off” kind of vibe about him. It can’t be said, Martin Senescue isn’t dedicated and passionate about his tribute to keeping a murderers’ row of wax figures well taken care of! One can’t blame his wife or brother-in-law from wondering why Martin would be so beholden to what isn’t real instead of the woman he’s married to. I think Martin would certainly creep me out; there is this unawareness of just how disturbing a hobby keeping wax figures of murders in your basement could appear to “normies”. Martin is so absorbed in his hobby, he fails to see how Mr. Ferguson might react to mentioning their “misbehavior”. I think I would have preferred more of a “theater of the mind” approach to who (what) is responsible for the murders of Martin’s wife, brother-in-law, and former employer. Seeing Ripper’s knife move towards the wife’s throat and the rope-strangler choking Ferguson, it takes away from the possibility of Martin actually committing them, their identities “inhabiting” him because he got too close to them. He researched them and eventually “became them”. But we saw what we saw. So did the wax figures frame him? That just looks preposterous off my Word screen as I type it. Still Martin looks damn eerie as a figure in wax at Marchand’s in Brussels!

3:30am – The Bewitchin’ Pool

At the very bottom of the marathon, right before two one-hour episodes from the fourth season (“Thirty-Fathom Grave” and “He’s Alive”), the worst episode reputedly (though, I’m always game for a poll to determine this) is “The Bewitchin’ Pool”. Scenes repeat more than once, there is some really bad dubbing with the use of June Foray’s voiceover for Sport, while other times, it is the actual voice of Mary Badham. The horrible parents, the odd fantasy place and its Mother Hen, Aunt T, the dimensional door in the pool of Sport and Jeb that seems to teleport them to some fishing lake near a cabin where other children have chosen to live away from bad mothers and fathers, and the awkward dialogue often shared between Sport and Jeb with their parents, Aunt T, and this Huckleberry Finn with a straw hat and fishing stick; this episode is full of cringe. I still shake my head at this being the final episode to close the series. Hell, I’d soon prefer “Come Wander with Me” or even “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge”. Calling a spade a spade, the fifth season had some gems, no doubt, but with one or two great episodes, there were plenty of duds as well. I recall watching so much fifth season late last year I had to take a break, it got to be a bit of a drag. I just don’t think I can stomach very many more viewings of this, “Caesar and Me”, or “Sounds and Silences”. I feel it’s safe to say that a few of the fifth season episodes will be retired from future viewing if just to favor my sanity and maintain a feeling of good will towards the fifth season, considering the valuable ones that are scattered about it. I just really never want to watch “The Bewitchin’ Pool” again. This is just bad television. I could see why Badham was cast, considering “To Kill a Mockingbird” fame, but none of that translates here; I think you can even tell she’s getting cues from just off camera, and Dee Hartford is horrendous as her mother. How this really made it out of the editing stage and onto television is surprising. It did seem to suffer from a bad production, and that shows.