Bloodbeat (1982) -- Off the Top

 Thanks to Vinegar Syndrome and Shudder I had the chance to finally watch one of the most perplexing Christmas horror films I've ever seen. I've seen my share of weird shit, but "Bloodbeat" takes the cake. Shot in rural Wisconsin by a French filmmaker using local talent, this is set at a farmhouse during the holidays featuring a "psychic painter", her deer hunter boyfriend, and the psychic painter's visiting son and daughter, and son's girlfriend. Also visiting is an uncle, flying fast in a big truck that leaves the road and drops another feet just slamming the asphalt at great speed. So there is a trunk (I believe) that was left behind by a mystic who never returned with Samurai helmet, mask, and clothes seemingly possessed by the spirit of the one once wearing them. Sarah is Ted's girlfriend, having a weird first exchange with Ted's mother, Cathy, the "psychic artist". Cathy can read minds, and I guess because she does this when Sarah arrives, that causes a tension and anxiety between the two of them. Ted just wants to fuck Sarah any chance he gets. One night, Sarah opens the trunk, cuts her hand on the Samurai sword, and, because of this, "connects" to the Samurai spirit. I'm trying to explain this, really I am. I'm not even sure I know that this is correct. The movie is just fucking bonkers. Okay, so Ted and sister, Dolly, hear a thump and go upstairs to find Sarah on the floor. The family worry for Sarah who tells them about the Samurai gear, but there is no gear found in the room. That is because the killer Samurai spirit is now unleashed due to Sarah's blood on the sword (I think) and goes on a rampage, first killing Uncle Pete when his truck goes off the road into the ditch (Pete is a speed demon, so this is no surprise). So most of the time the Samurai spirit cuts or stabs locals with the sword. Sometimes the spirit has this body blue halo light that emanates all around it. There are "fights" where Cathy has blue light that emerges on her hands as she uses her psychic power to put up resistance, hoping to protect her family from it. Dolly has a scene where she tells Cathy to stay out of her head, proving to her mom that she is psychic, too. And later Ted also seems to be psychic when he holds hands with Dolly to "combat" the Samurai spirit. Gary, Cathy's boyfriend, can't do anything against the Samurai spirit because he isn't psychic...just an ordinary Joe who lives off the land and likes to morning hunt in the local woods. There was a victim found gutted in the woods when Gary, Ted, Dolly, and a reluctant Sarah go for a hunt, and I'm not sure exactly who was responsible. The Samurai spirit hadn't yet been unleashed so the death is curious. Sarah, who clearly hates the death of deer, screams out when a group of frolicking deer emerge as the others plan to either crossbow arrow or shoot them for food later. Sarah runs off as Ted follows her. Sarah finds this guy in the woods with an open wound in his stomach, perhaps disemboweled. The death is never explained. The body is taken off as Gary tells the cop they were shooting nowhere near him. So that might be a possibility that this guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was a hunting victim Gary just didn't know about. The music used is a combination of synth and classical, often so overwhelming and overbearing it seems to fit the off-the-wall and practically incomprehensible content. The house eventually goes through a Poltergeist like "spiritual temper tantrum" as objects in the kitchen levitate and scatter about as Gary tries to avoid being injured. Also inside the house that blue light just goes on overload as Cathy uses all her psychic power in an attempt to thwart the Samurai spirit. When the Samurai spirit eventually stabs Gary, he dies immediately and when Cathy is unable to stop it, she is stabbed as well...and with Cathy her face is gray and wrinkled for whatever reason. I haven't even mentioned that during each Samurai spirit attack, Sarah, who cut her finger on the sword, has intense orgasms! You can't make this shit up. When Sarah is having sex with Ted, she's on top, naked, and the Samurai spirit cuts down three hunters around a campfire...while on top, Sarah has her most spectacular orgasm, much to Ted's delight. With all of that, Cathy also spends a great deal of time painting on canvas (I believe, but could be wrong) the Samurai on the rampage. When Sarah holds her hand over a picture of Cathy as a child and that photo burns, she eventually takes on the form of the Samurai herself, seemingly embodied by its evil.

The film has periods that actually feature no weird activity, just following the characters either preparing to hunt or Cathy at her canvas. The melodrama of Gary and Cathy's withering relationship gets some focus as he tires of her distant increasing coldness and unwillingness to marry him officially. And Sarah and Ted seem to be on the trajectory for an eventual fuck, but not until further into the film as the Samurai adds to its body count. You get plenty of Wisconsin woods and the farmhouse and grounds is very much a legit location the director found. I read the director was smoking a lot of grass while putting this madness together, so that might explain why this all makes very little sense. 

Either 1/5 or 5/5. This was an experience.