Monday, June 2, 2014
Chiller Minis: My Sucky Teen Romance
In my second film of the CHILLER channel minis series, I had to endure the teenage Disney horror fluff, My Sucky Teen Romance, a little cutesy film about teenagers congregating at a "sci-fi con". Disney isn't the company that made the film but I think, besides a little make up gore and some blood, it seems at home on the channel. Comic-loving teens meet at a grocery store at night prior to the con (one about to leave out of town for college, the other a check-out employee), again encountering each other again at the con itself. Vampirism spreads thanks to a leather jacket motorcyclist (himself bitten by a vamp) from 1958 who bites the grocery store clerks when their attempts to either kill him or escape fail. They, now vampires themselves, hit the con and blending in with that crowd isn't too difficult since costumes and cosplay are the rage. This is played completely for teenagers...teenagers a bit attracted to the light and soft innocence of cute and bubbly. It's PG TV, innocuous for a horror film about bloodsuckers and just a bit too sweet for its own good. I say that this is the kind of film I run for the hills away from, but it does have an audience. Before graduating to the dark, brooding, nightmarish horror of R TV, with all its blackness and foreboding, kids get their feet wet with this kind of frothy touch of pink. The title says it all. Going into the film, I knew this wasn't Heathers. Or even Jawbreaker. No edgy subject matter or penchant towards the provocative, and the dialogue doesn't have a hint of acid or sharp wit. It's all bubbles. Fangs appear as does the red, but this is still all bubbles. Watch at your own risk.
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Dracula's Daughter ('36)
Blood of Dracula's Castle (1969)
Mad Love 1935
Doctor Gogol: Did you ever hear of Galatea?
Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: Gala - who? Not wanting a statue of him, are you?
Doctor Gogol: I don't want a statue of Galatea. You see, she was a statue herself. Pygmalion formed her. Out of marble, not wax. And then she came to life in his arms.
Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: [calling to his assistant] Start the motor, Henry. There's queer people on the streets of Montmartre at this time of night.
Doctor Gogol: [handing him his card] Here, a hundred francs if you deliver the statue to my house.
Lavin - Waxworks Proprietor: [reading card] It's a go, Dr. Go... gol. First thing in the morning.