Abraxas--Guardian of the Universe

Abraxas is a “galactic police officer” named a “finder” whose goal is to help keep the universe safe, in charge of catching a “renegade finder” named Secundus (stuntman Sven-Ole Thorsen, stepping out in a rare talking role as a menacing criminal in search of god-like power, killing young men who might possess the anti-life equation) who “impregnated” an Earth woman with a fetus who might hold the “anti-life equation” that poses a threat to all lifeforms everywhere. Secundus could become quite powerful if he could “rip the anti-life equation” from the brain of the now five-year old “comater” (the name of such a child). Abraxas will have to make sure this doesn’t happen. Secundus was captured but broke free, able to pass through a wormhole warp returning to Earth to find and extract the anti-life equation. 

*½

Answer boxes on their wrists need to be charged and can be used for numerous things like tracking and traveling through the aforementioned wormhole. The answer box also communicates to its master information, such as who the comater is and the “test” that looks for the anti-life equation while holding humans still, killing anyone because of the electrical power used.

Marjorie Bransfield has probably her biggest part of her short film career as Sonia, the female chosen by Thorsen’s renegade alien to carry and nurse his child until time comes to retrieve the anti-life equation. She isn’t too bad, actually, but the script and plot defeat her efforts. She is the concerned and strong mother who will need help from Jesse Ventura’s galactic law abiding space “peace officer” in order to keep her son, Tommy (Francis Mitchell, who never speaks, his half-human/half-alien “comater” mute because of the fear of what his power might do if unleashed) from Thorsen. The dialogue and plot are very comic book (a lousy, short-lived comic, that is); the just cheap-ass budget limit not only the minorly used effects for the movie but the poorly staged action sequences (whether they’re explosions, gunfire/laser blaster fire, fisticuffs, etc.) as well. Ventura plays the Abraxas character completely straight, responding to his newfound feelings for Sonia with a childlike wonder. 

The Answer Box

He stays subtle, while Thorsen is that robotic, stone-faced, thick-Austrian accented, bullying brute that makes police officers, Sheriff Sharp (Michael Copeman) and Deputy White (David Mitchell) look foolish and lays waste to whatever might prevent him from what stands in his way of achieving the retrieval of the anti-life equation. The fish-out-of-water concept, a staple in storytelling in film, is used once again for moments of humor such as when Abraxas sees Sonia naked in the shower as she pulls back the curtain (sorry, her probably nice naked flesh isn’t available for viewing) or is given a kiss on the cheek, not to mention, Secundus ordering the whole menu at a diner, misunderstanding the meaning of the check, eating it instead of paying (!). 

Seeing Jesse Ventura always get his ass kicked by Thorsen, needing help at the end from the boy—one tries to keep safe while the other wants power from—kind of sucks, actually, because it is just odd that the hero of such a bone-headed movie wouldn’t get some actual licks in and succeed every once in a while making his adversary suffer. It doesn’t help that the exchange of punches are slow motion, shot so close, the camera not really establishing landed blows, often pulling away, and extreme close-ups of Ventura’s pained expressions while in the victimized position get to be a bit disappointing. The film does sell that Secundus is superior in hand-to-hand combat skills over Abraxas. It is only that Secundus’ evil ego, in one particular fight where a lamp stand is stabbed into Abraxas, holds him from killing his nemesis when available.

All this has going for it is the Ventura bonding with mother and son while serving as their well-meaning protector as Secundus tries to find their whereabouts. This might somewhat alleviate the burden of what transpires before your eyes and must endure with your ears. If the action scenes had been at least decent, Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe might have been a bit of fun, but at least the setting in Canada, during wintry Christmas time, is attractive even if the film within it sucks ass.

Abraxas might can be labeled as the action sci-fi flick that shows Ventura’s sensitive side, the way he has gentle scenes with the comater and the mother, perhaps not exactly such a detail ingratiating this to fans who want to see him get real physical and talk all tough. 

This also features two aliens in charge of finders (the actors seem to be in the control room of a power plant dressed to look sort of like the bridge of a space outpost) and their code that must be followed, often raising a fuss with Abraxas’ methods and failures to follow orders (murder the child and mother so that the threat of such a weapon used on galaxies will be abated). 

Peppered on the soundtrack is the odd use of jazz and Ventura’s voiceover narrative can be a bit intrusive. Just a movie with its share of problems deterring enjoyment from the experience. Buried in the Sci-fi Invasion 50 pack set I picked up not long ago, Abraxas might stick out because of Ventura’s name. A guest spot by Jim Belushi as a principal, is nothing to write home about; he’s just going through the motions here.