Survival Island (2005)

Trashy soap opera on a deserted tropical island with a love triangle producing the expected violent results. None of those in this film are without their faults, that’s for sure. Husband and wife (Billy Zane and Kelly Brook) go on a cruise and the boat “waiter” (Juan Pablo Di Pace) sets fire to the lower deck out of anger because he didn’t like how the customers (mainly Zane) were disrespecting him. For the exception of Di Pace, Brook, and Zane, the others on the boat perish, including Brook’s friend and the boat’s owner. Zane washes ashore two days after Brook and Di Pace, who clearly want to fuck so bad they can’t stand it. Eventually they do, to no surprise. When you are on a deserted island and rescue seems out of reach for the foreseeable future, Brook choosing the younger, studlier Latino heartthrob Di Pace over middle-aged, balding Zane (she obviously married for his money) lends to plenty of melodrama. Brook proves to be willing to choose whoever can best benefit her, making her no better than the other two fighting over her as if she were some prize or reward. Fans of batshit insanely jealous, vindictive survivalist Zane will find value in this tawdry exercise where Di Pace gains Brook’s attraction, devotion, and support mainly because of his looks, youth, musculature, and passion while Zane looks to make their life a living hell out of spite for his wife’s adultery and his adversary’s seduction of her. The “witchcraft” involved features an embittered ex of Di Pace’s performing a ritual seemingly cursing him as Zane fights off Brook (when she tries to plunge a knife into him and openly fucks Di Pace during a midnight swim, her loyalties are more than obvious) in the woods of the beach…although some might side with Zane because of Brook’s betrayal and adultery, his jealous descent prior to the fucking sort of pushed his wife into going all the way. Letting Brook off the hook at the end, considering she wasn’t completely innocent in her behavior (some might cringe when she tells Di Pace no as he rips her bikini top open and holds her down, while others will probably find it alluring) seems unjustified. If he is able to survive on the island and return home, she’s in deep shit for leaving him behind. The tropical environs are exotic and idyllic with plenty of Brook in her itty-bitty bikini, her curves (and sometimes her voluptuous nude body) very much as seductive as the island. This film isn’t art, folks. Its attractive location and stars are perhaps enough for those who might eat up those dimestore sex novels and seek out some thin-plot eye candy nonsense. I admit Brook on an island, barely able to stay in her bikini, the setting perfect for her as a backdrop to strut her form sensuously is a draw in the film’s favor. Zane as the mentally deteriorating but clever (and resilient) husband proving his perseverance when Di Pace seemed to be Brook’s preferred “man of the island” (he could catch fish, but he had the goggles taken from the boat and lived on a similar island), fashioning a jug into his own goggles and hunting whatever he could to cook (Zane had the lighter, so he could set a fire), is always a hoot. Di Pace, to me, is Brook’s equal, appealing for the ladies, with obvious chemistry and tension (as needed for the film “to work”), while eventually vanquished, surprisingly because Zane was bound and determined to get even for the loss of his wife’s affections. Lust, desire, rage, deception, thievery, machismo, ego, narcissism, and revenge are all key emotional reactions par for the course in something like “Survival Island”. I thought the use of a dingy—found by Zane underwater, stolen by Brook (who talks Di Pace into taking it with her, proving she was no heroine, clearly willing to take advantage if necessary to get off the island) and Di Pace (Zane “makes repairs” to the boat, while the other two watch him putting in the work) which has a “leak” which nearly drowns them—was an amusing device that escalates the drama between the men as Brook tries (and fails) to help Di Pace. The use of a spear, stone, and knife during this process, instead of surviving on the island until help came, could have been avoided but falling to base, primal urges and attitudes gives fans of this kind of trash their money’s worth, I reckon. 1.5/5