Game of Thrones - First of His Name

Long may he reign

Tommen is crowned King of the Seven Kingdoms...but for how long? That is always the question in King's Landing, isn't it?

Cersei and Margaery speaking about Tommen's decency and Joffrey's ability to shock, potential weddings and what they will call each other if they do wed relatives is quite interesting. The saying one thing while clearly planning another as their fathers will be asked what comes next. Tommen the boy, a good boy but still a child nonetheless, as King with all the scheming and plotting around him. All the cutthroats and scoundrels looking for power while this naive boy wears a crown and sits on the Iron Throne. Quite a spectacle.

And the news of Joffrey's death reaching Meereen, with Daenerys having to determine what her next steps are. Yunkai and Astapor were left behind with others not following her to Meereen, freed but enslaved again by the likes of Cleon and other slavers. If Daenerys cannot alter the ways in Slavers Bay how could she take the Seven Kingdoms and rule Westeros. Even with 10,000 and 93 ships (taken in Meereen by Second Sons led by Daario), Westeros still is a daunting task to aquire at this point.

Know your strengths and use them wisely.

Heading between the mountains to the Eyrie for the Vale to meet up with Sansa's aunt, Littlefinger tell her of how the mountains can benefit those who use them to their advantage. He acts as if he is a mentor to Sansa, filling her head with strategy. Then they arrive at the castle, with the Bloody Gate opened at just Littlefinger's announcement of arrival, having Sansa, under hood, named Alayne for her own safety. After their greetings, Sansa receives a hug from her aunt, Lysa, told to keep her identity secret. Robin, Lysa's spoiled son, is asked to take Sansa to her chambers. Then we see what Baelish has been up to for some time, having seduced Lysa, convincing her to poison her previous husband, blaming the Lannisters for it. Baelish trying to hush Lysa with her pleading to marry agreed to. Not who he wants or desires, Baelish still needs to appease her. Lysa's wailing in the other room while having sex with complicit Baelish as Sansa must listen in ugh is hilarious.

The Lannister Legacy is the only thing that matters

Tywin councils Cersei on how they have no gold. Their mines are dry and they are indebted to The Iron Bank of Braavos. Speaking of them, their enigmatic, mysterious nature is emphasized by Tywin when Cersei asks if someone can be talked to over what they owe and when it can be paid back. Tywin assures Cersei that marrying and remaining aligned to the Tyrells is the financially reasonable thing to do. Not about love or respect but profit and power continuing to support the Lannisters. Cersei remains loyal to her father and would we'd her son away and herself to Loras if it will please her father. All the strategic plotting that is coordinated behind the scenes and away from the King.

What does Tyrion deserve for lighting that future on fire?

Cersei reasons with her father that her brother doesn't deserve to escape punishment for what he has caused to their family. If you looked at this episode without knowing what happens afterward, Tyrion's goose indeed looked quite cooked.

Go on, get it over with. Your list of doomed men.

Arya has to compulsively list all the men "she will kill" as The Hound mocks her folly but this is indeed serious business to her. She isn't picking around. She has those in mind she wants dead, which indeed includes The Mountain...and The Hound, too. The Hound later mocks Arya who is "water dancing" as she practices with the Needle. Her Braavosi swordsman trainer having been killed by Mervyn Trant due to just having a stick The Hound points out is why he's dead. To survive one must have armor and a big fucking sword. The Needle didn't even penetrate The Hound's chainmail. His slap dropped her instantly. Lessons learned as Arya continues her growth in Westeros.


You'll be the Lady of the Vale.

Lysa unveils her jealousy, revealing her obsessive devotion to Baelish, questioning whether or not he touched or impregnated Sansa, much to Sansa's horror. Sansa thinks on her feet by relieving Lysa by describing how Baelish considers a stupid little girl with stupid little dreams. And another wants her to marry in the family...Lysa plans to have her we'd Robin, ugh, once Tyrion is killed!

The gods love their stupid jokes, don't they?
What good is power if you cannot protect the ones you love?

Cersei speaks to the Prince of Dorne, Oberyn, about their loss, a sister, a son despite being a swordsman and a queen, as power and skill could not save those they love. Oberyn tries to assure her that her daughter is safe and happy and Cersei wants to believe it. She wants to send a ship with sails so her daughter can sail the open water. He promises to make it so. Oberyn will oversee Tyrion on trial as a judge, is a poet, and has eight daughters, one of whom is named after his sister.

Burn it to the ground and all the dead with it.

Jojen warns scumbag knife master thief, rapist, and killer from Fleabottom, Karl Tanner, that he would burn, his bones buried by the snow. I'm happy to report this ghoul gets a sword through his skull, courtesy of Jon Snow, with help from one of Craster's abused girls. Meera almost suffered awful sexual deviancy certain to include violence but the crows invade the Keep, eradicating the mutineers, as Rast flees only to suffer the wrath of Jon's direwolf. Craster's Keep goes up in flames.

Also happy to report that Locke, taker of Jaime's hand, enlisted to infiltrate the crows of the Nights Watch and nab Bran, has his neck snapped by Hodor (Jojen convinces Bran to take over Hodor's mind and use him as a weapon). Jon has no idea that Bran was just feet away, talked into heading north for the three-eyed Raven, seeing the weirwood tree in a vision. That was wild!

This episode was very busy but that ending was particularly noteworthy. Jon didn't die, Bran got away, Roose didn't get any Starks, and lots of kingdom intrigue included. And no Ramsey torturing Theon.