Crash & Burn

A television station in the Southwest is operated by a secret revolutionary assisting a liberation movement hoping to tear down the control of a company that now seems to be as powerful as a government as the global environmental ozone depletion now renders living on the surface out in the open sun impossible. A delivery man for this company will wind up playing a major role in this battle for the freedom of the human race.

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I admit that I do dig these “patchwork” hybrids like Crash & Burn that came out of the low budget studios like Full Moon, taking from popular sci-fi/horror/action of the time. You can easily see The Terminator, The Thing, and post apocalyptic fare while watching Charles Band’s Crash & Burn. I couldn’t find anything original in it at all, to tell you the truth, yet I positively enjoy it. I’m just being honest; I can watch this one every other year and not tire of it. Here’s the thing: it isn’t a beautifully lensed film. It has a raw, rough look that, for me, is appropriate for its plot and bleak future. It has Richard Band scoring based on previous work (you can hear Trancers & Puppetmaster mixed in) so not even his work has much new to offer; that said, I’ll take trimmings from Band’s previous work if it applies the desired effect.

The ozone layer has depleted and continues to do so. Even by 1990, this was used quite a bit, a device that gives even the most localized plots (this one, essentially based at the singular location of a television station in the middle of a godforsaken desert, left to rot and ruin) a reason for human misery (human misery caused by humans) a familiarity. The sun is a blazing, the temperature especially burdensome and high-pressure winds only add to the difficulty of an environment gone to hell. But the dialogue has to inform us of the overall situation of the plot (due to the obvious budget restraints) as a totalitarian entity (called Unicom) now ruling America (and perhaps the world) as a rebellious “liberation group” tries to develop in order to break down their overwhelming control. Unicom’s mantra of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of economic stability” is obviously a falsity, spread propaganda that convinces a majority to stay underground and allow them to remain in power, but those of the like-minded liberation group, Independent Liberty Union, include the head operator of the television station, Lathan Hooks (Ralph Waite, in basically a glorified cameo) who uses his resources as best he can (when the signal is disrupted) to influence a revolution. Unicom have secretly, however, retained a synthetic program of cybernetic beings that aren’t supposed to kill humans unless they’re “crash and burn” program is undermined by a specific set of codes. This will be the case for the Southwest television station where Lathan is operating. What Lathan doesn’t realize is that a “synth” (or maybe not just one...) is amongst a small group in his station.

The Terminator is an obvious influence in when the synth does show up, is damaged by shot gun blasts (among other structural damage to his exterior, and body parts), and shows the mechanics underneath its imitation flesh. The Thing comes into play when a scalpel is used for the iconic “blood test” to see which among the group congregated inside the station could be the synth. Of course, Crash & Burn foils this supposedly tried and true method of weeding out an enemy among them, but includes a nasty bit of business involving an infection on the hand of the station’s resident sleazy creep, Winston Wicket (Jack McGee, effectively skin-crawling), who has an uncle that funds the operations on the station, therefore this allows the privilege of hosting his own show, featuring an assortment of trash topics. Two porn stars (Elizabeth Maclellan and Katherine Armstrong, the latter cast simply because she’ll get naked) are on Winston’s show and suffer the wrong place at the wrong time scenario as they are stuck at the station due to the arising thermal storm growing in intensity as the night falls. Maclellan, who, for whatever reason, never had a career much past her next feature Full Moon film (Puppetmaster II; I’ll speak more about her when I get to that movie in the future), tries to incorporate her whore with a bit of personality; hell, she even dies a hero, taking a shot gun blast, pushing a potential victim out of harm’s way. Eva La Rue is the major hot teacher of the film with the hero fully attentive to her sexiness. She's a babe, no doubt, but there's a fun twist at the end concerning her that might surprise viewers.

Full Moon really felt they had a star with Megan Ward and anytime I see her I hearken back to this early time in her career as the studio was grooming her. Included in her resume for the studio was Arcade (not considered one of Full Moon’s better films during this era) and Trancers II (where she played Jack Deth’s other wife); Crash & Burn, though, was perhaps the film that really gave her a strong female role that used her teenage youth advantageously in the plot because of her attraction and personal interest in the lead hero, Tyson Keen (Paul Ganus). Tyson is basically just a lowly employee of the gargantuan Unicom, delivering some canisters for the station’s air conditioning.

 He’s not really a loyal employee and even says to Ward’s Arren that he plans to move on to something else after this delivery. Arren is one of those “teen techs” who understands computers and has the mind that can get machines under operation when it seems impossible. She does so towards the end of the film when a seemingly dead hunk of robot wreckage rusting in a metal rummage heap located next to the abandoned station is brought to operation thanks to her young genius. It allows David Allen a moment to show off his recognizable robot known so well in Robot Wars. Anyway, Greg Cannom has his moments when Bill Moseley (getting to twist his face in evil, mad expressions after spending the opening of the film playing the character straight) emerges as the synth, particularly when the shot gun blasts open up a major wound across the side of his head, and later he’s a mess of twisted synthetic flesh and warped metal.

The end really is what tickles my fancy as we see Moseley lay on the cyborg maniac as he brings havoc to the station, on the prowl, with Arren and Tyson trying to put him down. With the make-up effects, darkened station that had seen better days (it really does look like it was left to fall apart without care), and eventual rising robot that plays out in grand fashion to assist our heroes in their time of need, Crash & Burn isn’t a total waste of time.

I don’t think Crash & Burn will make a blip on the post-apocalyptic radar or make a dent on the sci-fi genre involving human robots on the kill, but watching it again was a treat because it doesn’t try to be anything spectacular; C & B doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what is shown on screen. You might even see similarities, in regards to look (the television station at night seems reminiscent to the underground installation), to Shadowzone, and its post-apocalyptic world seems relatable to Parasite. Band, I think, knows his fanbase, particularly his Full Moon/Empire fans from the 80s/early 90s, and his films during this period seem solely aimed/geared for those of us who eat them up. But, as the budgets looked cheaper and cheaper, and effects campier and less impressive, Full Moon’s draw/attraction to his audience diminished. Soon he was making smut. Now he’s back to making a shitload of schlock. C & B was part of my era of Full Moon, a teenager who couldn’t wait for the next VHS release at the rental store. Those were fond days from my youth I appreciate. Now you can find these movies easily in horror packs at Walmart. Hell, I just picked up a dvd set with all the Puppetmaster movies for $5 bucks. That, for me at least, was pretty cool.