Robot Wars

The MRAS II (Mega Robotic Assault System, second model), a scorpion-styled passenger robotic travel vehicle, will be captured by a supposed ally of the Northern Hemi Operations Center (played by a familiar face to Karate Kid Part II fans, Danny Kamekona, the rival brother of Mr. Miyagi, along with second in command (who also starred in KK Part 2 as the rival of Ralph Macchio), Yuki Okumoto), actually behind renegade attacks conducted by a group of terrorists called Centros. Centros have always been basic annoyances, never before equipped with the kind of firepower needed to take down the sophisticated and powerful type robots like MRAS II. But when the head chief of North Hemi, Rooney (Peter Haskell, while a mainstay in television during his career, this actor might be best remembered for being the CEO of the toy company in the Child’s Play sequels) gives General Wa-Lee (Kamekona) and members of his entourage a ride in the MRAS II, they commandeer the robot and take the passenger manifest hostage. Rooney is negotiating a trade agreement with Wa-Lee, providing him with smaller modeled robotic “protectors” that would help guard their borders and toxic zones.
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A specific abandoned town known as Crystal Vista, left by locals after the “Great toxic gas scare of 1993”, is being investigated by scientist, Leda (Barbara Crampton, as easy on the eyes as ever), and as part of a tourist trip led by North Hemi guides, she will be able to see if something lies underneath it; it is later determined that an old robot, the MEGA 1, is actually located under the town as well as Centros positioned to help Wa-Lee board and take charge of the MRAS II.

So the MEGA 1 robot was reputed to be scrapped for salvage yet rumored to be buried in pieces underground, later discovered by trained, skilled go-to heroic pilots, Drake and his partner, Stumpy (Don Michael Paul, full of cocky charm and fiery brio, and James Staley as that old reliable buddy who is always there for his friend, a trusting, loyal bud to the end), often treated with little respect by Rooney, who is only concerned with profit and furthering his own best interests. Drake and Stumpy, along with Leda in tow, will try to jumpstart the MEGA 1 and battle the supposedly superior MRAS in a robot combat for the ages.

Lisa Rinna, prior to her betrothal to Mr. Harry Hamlin

With a script that has its share of cringe-inducing dialogue ("The Washington types..what a lovely bunch of coconuts." “Peekaboo, I kill you!” “Buster Boy!” “That ought to give those nerds a bionic boner.”), and some rather patchwork costumes and dressed sets that convey the miniscule Full Moon sci-fi budget at their disposal (although, I have always had a fondness for their cheapjack Corman-esque sets and uniforms for crews and civilians of the future; it does expose how little money was available but they still had enough passion and love for the genre to forward ahead and not let the obstacles deter them from producing films of their liking anyways), Robot Wars isn't necessarily the kind of film many will probably be seeking out, unless you are an avid admirer (I am) of the product the company put out in the late 70s/80s/early 90s. The budgets never quite compensated for the genuine love and joy for genre films in horror and sci-fi that Full Moon carried during their tenure. But I still think that for those of us, like them, who also share such feelings have a connection that remains viable and to this day. 

I realized as I was watching Robot Wars that I had not viewed this since I was around fifteen. I'm now 35, and the realization that it has been 20 years (!) since I last watched it, some recording on a VHS tape borrowed perhaps or rented back in the day, kind of took me back in a time warp. A time warp that actually fed the kid who always ate this stuff up, regardless of what the casual viewer sees as quality, depending on if you place stock in production and budget.

Oh, how the future tells such truths..

The film is really about the final ten or so minutes but getting there was rather entertaining to me because the cast brought all they could to their parts. I especially (no surprise) loved Barbara Crampton as a Howard Hawksian, opinionated, fiery, spunky, and courageous, tough-talking babe, curious about the possible weapons cache that might be located underneath Crystal Vista. The guns fire lasers, of course, and the suits of those nasty Centros resemble Storm Troopers from Star Wars. The influence is often quite obvious, Star Wars and Conan the Barbarian (particularly), and the Full Moon machine for several years were similar (but not quite) to the Asylum of today. Except, Band's company wanted to put their own stamp on films that were similar to popular genre films so engrained in the public during the time they were in business, not blatantly ripping off the better-budgeted films from the grander Hollywood studios but the influence could not be denied.

By 1993, Crampton was on her way out of working in genre films, which always left me a bit disappointed. I hope, despite the slight of Zombie's scenes with her deleted in his upcoming movie, Lords of Salem, won't encourage a step away from the genre as fans like me want to see her regardless if there's a stigma against older actresses getting parts of some sort of worth. I'm not talking Dee Wallace sharing a couple minutes on Abominable or House of the Devil, but a part that allows us to enjoy her for a period of time. It'd be nice (I know, pipedream, right?) if parts of some quality, with some development, went to a Barbara Crampton. Watch Robot Wars if you can find it and give her a chance. She's especially cool firing a laser gun at the bad guys. And anytime I can just look and admire her beauty once more makes a movie like Robot Wars all the more worthwhile.

About the special effects; for a film that worked off a tight budget, the stop-motion scenes with the Transformer-type robots (I basically think the robots in combat is essentially live action Transformers without the machines having "their own souls") rocked my world. I thought they were awesome. The way the scorpion MRAS II knocks down the MEGA 1, how the MEGA 1 pulls out the passenger section from the body of the MRAS II, and the way the MRAS II seems to die (its mechanical arms just losing life in a flailing fashion) once a major laser blast pounds its central control system; this is some really entertaining combat if you enjoy such things. I'm a nerd, folks. So actually seeing the robots fight--unlike those CGI Michael Bay Transformer movies, over-produced bullshit where you can't even see what's going on--was a thrill in itself. I think those who visit my blog have now learned that Full Moon is a mainstay and flicks like Robot Wars are commonplace. I hope maybe, if anything, my blog can contribute to others seeking out Robot Wars--trust me when I say that there are worse things out there. Try an Asylum film and compare...