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Showing posts from February, 2013

Prom Night '08

A schoolteacher had become so obsessed with his lovely student (15 years old, yikes!) that he believes only he can have her (FOREVER), and so to make sure she has no one else to turn to but him (in his own sick, depraved mania), this wackjob kills her family, intending to take her for himself. When he's captured, this nutjob later escapes from his lunatic asylum (big surprise there, right?), he plans to crash her prom night (it is three years later; yeah, convenient time to escape, right?), and kill anyone who stands in his way of securing his prize.
**

This Sunday afternoon concluded my trilogy of February Valentines Day Twilight movies I promised to my wife I'd watch with her. The first half (the wedding, the honeymoon, the sudden pregnancy) really did nothing for me personally. This is for those who love soapy romance. I don't really, except for 80s John Hughes movies. That's a different topic for a different blog review.



I did, however, enjoy the destructive internal pregnancy that was deteriorating the condition of Bella and Jacob's ongoing  turbulent relations with his kind. This episode of the Twilight Saga also delves further in the tribal "inprinting" selection of a mate and how Jacob has not selected his. The film, obviously, isn't through with the love triangle and animosity between Jacob and Eddie in regards to Bella's safety and well being. There's still that continual threat of the wolves and vampires engaging in violent battle over Bella's protection against dying by the vampi…

The Gruesome Twosome

Apple Dumpling, I’ve been through bloody murder, and that’s a fact.
An old lady, seemingly sweethearted and cordial, is in fact mad and talks to a stuffed tiger called Napoleon, and houses a mentally challenged son that loves to butcher college co-eds she traps in his room, using their scalps for wigs to sale to the local women in the community! **½
As I mentioned on the imdb horror board, you just gotta love HGL. Fancy a bucket of KFC chicken? These college girls sure love their chicken! Haha

The Toolbox Murders

If you get rid of the evil, all that’s left in the world is good.
A series of brutal murders task a police department who have limited information to determine who is responsible. They are further burdened by the kidnapping of a fifteen year old, abducted from her mother's apartment; she lives in the same building as a nailgun victim, murdered by the same man who kidnaps the girl. The kidnapped girl's brother will try to find her whereabouts while a detective attempts to solve this frustrating case. ***½

Vixen!

Russ Meyer's Vixen!
Vixen has an insatiable sex addiction that keeps her from remaining devout to her husband only; his job as a bush pilot doesn't help matters. She just needs a man's touch.
**½

Chillerama

Kaufman Drive-In is holding an one night showing of "holy grail" drive-in fodder, the show called Chillerama that is showing them, supposedly never seen, the only prints in the possession of the proprietor of the theater who must endure the closing of his business, soon to be bulldozed.
** ½

Children of the Corn: Genesis

Tim and Allie's car breaks down while on a "scenic route" (they never learn, do they?), with the young couple (Allie's with child) later finding the California desert farm of a laconic "preacher" and his Ukrainian "bought wife". What these two don't realize is what lives on the farm, something so evil their very lives could be in jeopardy.


Absentia

Offered as an interesting approach to why some might go missing, Absentia features an underworld creature (or creatures?) that uses a particular tunnel--which was once a sink hole before being covered by this tunnel--in LA as an access to snatch certain humans living in a community nearby it.
***½

Succubus

Jesús Franco's Necronomicon

Lorna, a "stage performer", her act typically involves sex and pain,  is lost to what seems like a dream, where she carries on conversations that could lead to something sexual, but these events lead to violent ends. She seems to be under the command of another, her violence to others at the urging of an outside source.
***½

Well, I made it through another Twilight movie, as part of a trio I promised I'd watch with my wife (concluding tomorrow night with Breaking Dawn Part I) before Valentine's Day, this one New Moon (2009; Chris Weitz). This one was damn near painful to get through, but I managed somehow. Again, I mocked it, in turn tickling my wife's funny bone because I still believed Jacob was the better fit for the girl. At least she light up a radiated glow when he shows up. When he entered her room, *wolfing* up the tree into her open window. His hair now cut short, his shirt off, I can just envision the libidos of the ladies exploding when he makes an entrance on screen each time. Edward's absence made my viewing experience a bit more tolerable, but the Romeo and Juliet references were embarrassingly loud and not exactly subtle. I did get some pleasure out of Michael Sheen's scenery chewing towards the end; he relishes his role as the feared leader of the Volataire, Aro, and p…

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College

Well, the ghoulies return, this time played totally for slapsticky, Revenge of the Nerds-styled laughs, their return thanks to a comic book with text from a medieval book.
*

It was Valentines and I had told my wife I'd do the unthinkable...watch Twilight (2008; Catherine Hardwicke) with her. While she swooned endlessly about Edward, and I had to suffer through all the exhilarating emoting from Bella, I could rest my weary bones on the idyllic, picturesque, eyepopping location work of the setting. That was at least significant to me; a consolation, I guess. It went in the usual direction one would expect with Bella moving from Arizona to Forks, Washington, getting used to quite different environs, new students who are a bit goofy and immature while Bella and Eddie are oh so serious and trying to speak to each other. Speaking to each other, just spitting out words, attempting to carry on a conversation seems most difficult for them. If they bottled and sold a personality I would be more than willing to fork (pun intended) some cash just for Bella. Good grief, girl, can you crack a smile without it looking positively agonizing? The first movie is basica…
Can I just say that I love My Bloody Valentine (1981; George Mihalka). I admit that it doesn't take a whole hell of a lot to please a slasher fan. Admittedly, we become so accustomed to same ole/same ole, that all you really have to do is mix things up and we're happy. I think, though, that My Bloody Valentine, while exploiting a holiday to gain profit, is so well received because it has true-to-life characters that seem totally legit. The mine is a location quite unique for the slasher, a killer's breath being heard typical of the hidden-identity killer is done through a miner's breathing apparatus, and the pick axe is a might bit different than the oft-used machete.

 Seeing young adults--covered in soot, coughing mine dust, leaving the mine with an attempt to enjoy after-work entertainment in their small town Valentine Bluffs' bar, having gained just a bit of extra excitement because after 20 long years (due to a psycho miner going berserk on the holiday because…
Pretty excited about a page I plan to add to the blog for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. This will be one of a few selected films I plan to give direct pages to in the coming year just to add a little extra to the blog besides simple reviews. While the page for TCM will be set up similarly to a review, I wanted to mix the formula up slightly. I have damn near 100 screen caps. I never intended to do this but as I was writing pieces and selecting screen caps, there was just so much that inspired me. Halloween last year was like this--so much written, while my screen caps weren't as large in number because of various factors--but TCM, haha, was perhaps a bit over-the-top. I just figured if I'm gonna dedicate a page to it I will let it all hang out. I really want to do a Bava page as well. We'll see. Any of you that visit my blog, I really appreciate any responses and replies to my junk. Your input has always been welcome and enjoyed.

The Blair Witch Project

I am going to die out here.
*****

John Dies at the End.

Dave Wong (Chase Williamson; his character abandoned by the broken adoption system, having he knew not his parents, just surviving the best he can) receives a strange call from a high school bud, John (Rob Mayes) regarding his experiences after taking a new drug that allow you to see what others can't, like doors to other dimensions. It will be quite an adventure as these two young men become aware of a possible invasion thanks to a creature named Kurock.
****

I have been preparing for one of the biggest reviews I have ever posted on my blog--one for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and as I was pondering the behavior of Leatherface after he had killed yet another young man who had emerged from "the civilized world" to disrupt the warped life of a truly disturbed individual. It was a fascinating scene. I want to comment on this in depth in the review but the scene just cries for immediate response. I'm fascinated by Gunnar Hanson's performance. The way he, in disheveled panic, rambles about--the bird clucking in its cage--the "room of bones", confused and seemingly bothered by what just happened. This very well might have me looking at the character in a completely different light. Because I haven't seen this in 25 years, watching it with a pair of more mature eyes should make the blog review all the more introspective.

Shadowzone

“It’s coming out of the darkness.”
Government-sponsored human deep sleep experiments in an underground facility in Nevada have yielded quite a monumental breakthrough…a parallel dimension exists in the deepest sleep. *Something* (noted as “John Doe” by the computer) is able to travel from “the other side” of deep sleep and enter our dimension. It is dangerous and lethal.
***

The Dead

In West Africa, an American must brave the scorching environs and avoid non-stop walking dead as a zombie outbreak has overtaken the continent. He needs to find safety not only at some sort of encampment but out of the continent as zombies come out of every nook and cranny.
****

Critters 4

After the lackluster second sequel of the Critters franchise (its only merit could be Leo DiCaprio’s involvement as a kid) set in the apartment complex, this fourth and final film takes us to space. An intergalactic specimen collection pod is dispatched to Earth because only two Crites eggs remain. Some sort of intergalactic law prohibits exterminating any species, no matter how dangerous. Caught in the pod by accident, Charlie (who placed the eggs in the pod after the instructions of his ole bounty hunter pal Ug told him to) is put under a deep sleep, the pod shooting into space.
**

Destroyer

A serial killer is sent to the chair for a number of murdered women (including a game show hostess), but the electric bolts are unable to kill him. In fact he seems to have instead developed a supernatural power as a result. A film crew (including Anthony Perkins, of all people, as the director) shoots at the prison where this killer was to be executed, and everyone will be dead meat. Can the women-in-prison script writer, David (Clayton Rohner) and his stuntwoman girlfriend, Malone (Deborah Foreman), somehow stop this madman or suffer the same fate as others massacred at his hands. *½

Texas Chainsaw 3D

There was a shootout at the Sawyer farmhouse between members of the Sawyer family and vigilante locals looking to kill them for Jedidiah's psychotic activities (Jed is Leatherface). The vigilante posse upend Sheriff Hooper's (Thom Berry) attempts to have the Sawyer family give up Jed so that bullets wouldn't be fired; his efforts ultimately are in vain as vigilante posse ringleader (later to become Mayor in a funny twist of fate), Burt Hartman (Paul Rae) stirs up his boys, hurling Molotov Cocktails into the farmhouse, igniting an inferno, following up with gunfire that kills all the Sawyers inside...sans one, the main target, Leatherface who gets away.
**

100 Tears

A portly sicko in clownface (and a wig) looks totally bored even as he takes this absurdly humongous meat cleaver and butchers folks in a halfway house (some crew working there, as well as, patients; junkies, those who have might life’s misfortune, the janitor, the cook, etc.). A reporter, working for a mag that publishes stories on the crazy and strange, wants so badly to get access to a real developing case that will provide the means of garnering some success and respect. The killer clown murders could very well be the opening she needs to gain some serious cred as a legit reporter.
**

A Haunted House

Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) makes a commitment to his girlfriend, Kisha (Essence Atkins), allowing her to move in with him. She brings with her, however, a ghost-demon and paranormal activity ensues. Malcolm and Kisha are under constant assault from this entity, and soon others will be brought in hopefully to rid the house of its presence.
**

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child

Most of the time—well, 99.9% of the time—I approach each film with the basic thought: Okay, what do I like, and what do I dislike? I think a great deal of us just use this basic approach. Going into A Nightmare on Elm Street V: The Dream Child, I have watched it several times. I’ve never liked it. But it has been a few years. I went into it, believe it or not, with a clean slate. I pushed back thoughts and feelings that have always considered this sequel as the worst (..although, the next film might just claim this spot; a previous viewing wasn’t good…), all that negativity, and hoped I could find something, anything, that would be of some sort of quality. I do think there are flashes of brilliance surrounded by this all-encompassing dreck.
**