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Showing posts from September, 2012

It's almost here, horror pals.

Are you stoked? I know I am. This is the time of the year I live for. The chance to return to the films that I adore. That I appreciate. I have a great line-up planned to kick start Halloween month, and I will definitely open--unlike last year, the worst October experience I've had in some time--with Dracula's Daughter. It has done me right in the past. I don't quite know what it is but for about four/five years now, DD has been fitting, the right movie that kind of gets the month off on the right foot. A couple years ago, I had my follow-up as Werewolf of London, and I plan to do that this year. 2010 was a wonderful year which is puzzling considering how difficult it was with college and such. I want that for this year. Got a lot of newer movies in the canon for this year. I was considering Ti West's House of the Devil as the nightcap, but also on my mind is Human Centipede-The First Sequence. I really wanted to give West's film a second chance and thought maybe t…

Lucio Fulci's The Beyond

A Louisiana hotel was constructed on one of the seven gateways to hell. An artist named Spike, renting a room at the hotel, found a key to the door to hell, was mauled by angry townsfolk with chains,  crucified to a wall with spikes hammered into his arms, receiving an acid bath, and to top it off sealed in the basement behind a wall.
On the day the gates of hell are opened, the dead will walk the earth.

Such text comes from this book called Eibon. It was found in the hotel in Spike's room, Room 36, then later, mysteriously, in the abode of a blind blond girl (her eyes have those purposely freaky albino pupils), cob-webbed and open with pages that are dry and weary.

And you will face the sea of darkness and all therein that may be explored...




When you read from the typical devotee of the late Lucio Fulci, The Beyond is considered his masterpiece. I will call it a masterpiece....a masterpiece of excess. There's eyeball violence of epic proportions. I think there are three sequen…

Nightmares '83

I'm such a fan of the horror anthology. I like the idea of a movie with several horror stories featuring a number of familiar faces with plots containing macabre elements and themes. Nightmares, to be honest, never was that big a favorite of mine, even when I was a kid and pretty liked anything horror. But, like anthology horror films prior to Nightmares, some recognizable faces turn up, such as Emilio Estevez, still mining the angry teenager with a poisonous attitude, and another strong, sincere performance from Lance Henriksen, in an atypical role as a struggling-with-his-faith priest. Still, I remember Nightmares was a VHS rental darling in its day...


Terror in Topanga is the slasher tale of the anthology, a nut out stabbing folks (including a cop, savagely knifed at the beginning after sending a motorist on her way, warning her to fix the tail light) and a suburban wife needing smokes so desperately she's willing to risk going out into the night at 11:00 in order to satiat…

Critters 2

The annual Easter egg hunt at small town Grover's Bend is about to get awfully harey (okay, at least give me one lame bunny rabbit joke, will ya?) when little eggs found in a barn abandoned two years house those sharp-teeth, human-flesh-eating, mischievous, red-eyeballed, hairy furball Crites soon to crack open with all kinds of carnage in store for the local townsfolk. Even the poor fellow wearing the Easter Bunny outfit isn't spared. Bradley Brown (Scott Grimes, returning from the first film's cast) returns to Grover's Bend to visit Grandma and, sure enough, the Crites hatch and feed not long after he gets off the bus. Terrence Mann and Don Opper also return from the first film, with another bounty hunter alien, landing on Earth by spaceship to make sure all the Crites have been eradicated (Opper has joined Mann, helping tag and salvage the bodies of those rogue aliens they hunt).

I hate teenagers.

I'm a reporter there
Kind of like Jimmy Olsen...with breasts.

This m…

George A Romero's Diary of the Dead

Mummies get all the fucking girls.

What's a guy with a video camera doing in the women's dorm, huh?

A college student named Jason Creed, a wannabe documentary filmmaker, decides to shoot the events following a zombie outbreak where the dead are returning to attack the living.

We're in a warzone and I don't know who the war is with.

The main bitch about movies where someone uses a camera to shoot live events in the found-footage genre is that why would someone continue to record everything even as all hell breaks loose? So George picks up the mantle and gives us a reason this time: someone with a passion for documenting something of importance, considering what is happening worthy of constant recording, for future references. Friends and fellow students going to a school in Pennsylvania (this movie, unlike in the past, was shot in Canada) are in a Winnebago on the road to nowhere, and Diary of the Dead is a video diary of what they encounter along the way.



We've got to…

He Knows You're Alone

A jilted man named Ray (Tom Rolfing, who favors Russ Thorne killer in Slumber Party Massacre) preys on brides-to-be because he himself was left by one, using his knife on her, leaving a cop  (who was to marry her...)haunted by her murder. Ray sets his psychotic eye on Amy Jensen (Caitlin O'Heaney), set to marry Phil, out for the bachelory party weekend on a "fishing trip". Meanwhile, Amy is having second thoughts about Phil, as her former flame, a wise-cracking employee at a nearby morgue (who often jokes about the dead and continues to come around hoping she'll reconsider giving him a second chance), Marvin (Don Scardino; I know him from Squirm). Ray doesn't stop with just tormenting Amy, always near yet at a distance, his very presence a hinderance of fear that has her looking over her shoulder and conscientiously worried for her safety, but targets her friends, taking them out one at a time until the only once left is his ultimate prize.

Perhaps, He Knows You…