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Showing posts from August, 2009

Rob Zombie's Halloween II

It's been a year since Michael Myers attacked Laurie Strode, her friends and family in Haddonfield, and the killer, motivated by the mental manifested menacing mother that committed suicide when he was a child(..also we see the image of Michael as a wee little lass), returns to finish what he started. Loomis, an egomaniacal greedy toad in tailored suits, is on the touring circuit promoting his new book which reveals the identities of Laurie, Sheriff Brackett and his daughter Annie. Laurie is having recurring nightmares of her brother(..including a harrowing "hospital visit")and is pretty much an emotional wreck, attempting to embark on a whole new life for herself, tattooed with a more grunge appearance, living with Annie and Sheriff Brackett, befriending 'goth girls' she works with at a pop culture store. Loomis decides to return to Haddonfield for extra "sizzle"("Bad taste is the petrol that drives the American Dream")regarding his book, an…

House

Ding Dong, you're Dead



When I was a kid, I used to watch Steve Miner's House on a regular basis. It just had this appeal to me because of it's essential ingredients that attracts me to horror. It was a haunted house movie of sorts. The film follows the adopted "the house is evil" formula where those who live within a residence slowly succumb to it's benevolent grip, feeding from their fear and anxieties, needing their lifeforce to continue to thrive. I was watching House again tonight for the umpteenth time and was reminded, for some ungodly reason, of Dan Curtis' spookfest, Burnt Offerings, in how horror novelist, Roger Cobb(William Katt)falls under the malevolent spell of the house he grew up in with batty aunt who hung herself("the house beat me"), with plenty of ghastly creatures(..something perhaps out of a Lovecraft adaptation)attempting to drive him over the edge. While Burnt Offerings hasn't much in common with House, it dealt with …

Zombie Honeymoon

I'm pretty sure the unadorned will enter their viewing of Zombie Honeymoon expecting a zom-com with bizarre flourishes of outrageous goremedy. I think anyone who does will be disappointed for I felt that Zombie Honeymoon was quite dark and really rather sad.
My heart ached for Denise(Tracy Coogan)who must deal with the horrifying fact that her new hubbie(Danny, portrayed by Graham Sibley) has become infected with zombie-ism after some undead diseased person arrives from the ocean on the beach of their relative's beach house, vomiting a black oily substance in Danny's mouth. Danny was actually dead for ten minutes before rising from his bed to the surprise of Denise, his physician and nurse. Arriving home elated, Denise discovers, to her horror, that husband Danny is eating one the neighborhood joggers(..a heavy man with a weak heart).






The film focuses on how Denise must deal with Danny's unstoppable hunger for human flesh, an impulse he can not restrain himself from. E…

Stuck

I'm quite amazed that Stuart Gordon's Stuck has recieved such little fanfare from his usual audience(..or horror fans in general) for it deals with a really unbelievable situation that could've been easily resolved yet wasn't.

Stuck features a grisly state of affairs for this really poor soul who gets hit by a drugged out(..on ecstasy) nurse driving wobbly on the road after leaving a club. He goes through her windshield, is bleeding all over her passenger side seat, is trapped, unable to hardly move, has a broken leg (..with a bone protruding from his pants leg), and needs serious attention. Yet, this nurse, who seems unconcerned for his condition as much as how informing the proper authorities or hospital would affect her potential payraise, leaves the injured and bleeding man stuck in the windshield..if he is to survive, this man will have to escape as she plots to have him "put away", asking help from her drug-dealing gangsta boyfriend who brags about his…

Resident Evil:Extinction

Imagine all the royalties Romero rightfully deserves when movies such as Resident Evil:Extinction come to theaters. I think movies such as this don't even try anymore to hide the fact that they are inspired by Romero's influential zombie series.

I am still amazed that Resident Evil yielded a trilogy. It was horrendously ridiculed by both critics and zombie fans. It seems the only ones who liked the first film were fans of the game.

Director Paul WS Anderson(..whose movies I admittedly like)is always the subject of ridicule..labeled a hack or filmmaker incapable of directing an original work(..despite the fact that Event Horizon has some pretty original content, exploring fascinating themes, with some really creepy nightmarish imagery)he's always singled out as a Hollywood mainstream filmmaker of crap, long on style, short on substance. Another director treated this way is Renny Harlin, with several movies that I also enjoy others berate passionately. Anderson wrote the scr…

The Sister of Ursula

Euro-smut from director Enzo Milioni(..who also wrote this sordid trash) featuring another one of those crazy, naughty plots the Giallo genre is noted for.






The setting is a coastal resort where all kinds of debauchery occurs in rooms throughout the place. Two sisters arrive for a vacation and not long after a series of murders break out, the psychopath using a phallic weapon to heinously penetrate female victims, mostly sexually active women linked to the wife of the resort's proprietor.






Dagmar Beyne(Stefania D'Amario)has a difficult time with her deeply troubled sister Ursula(Barbara Magnolfi). Ursula has never recovered from the suicide of her pianist father(..he killed himself after a nervous breakdown left him impotent, losing his wife because of this was the icing on the cake)and still seems to believe he's alive and well. It also seems that Ursula has a type of supernatural power, in both clairvoyancy and telepathy. Anyway, other sub-plots include Roberto(Vanni Materas…

NEKRomantik

As I was watching Jörg Buttgereit's NEKromantik, I questioned to myself how people come to a decision to make a film regarding necrophilia, featuring a pitiable loser who collects body parts, fantacizing about the skinning of a rabbit. I can't just dismiss it as grotesque folly, because the example of Ed Gein changed the very way we looked at depraved behavior and morbid activity, in regards to the desecration of the dead.

I can't say I enjoyed a single moment of NEKromantik for if I had found anything within the plot entertaining I'd probably seek out serious counseling. I guess it could be looked at as a dark comedy for the very thought of someone making it with a rotted corpse, using a sawed off pipe(..with rubber on the end)as it's member, is hard to look at in a serious way. I'm sure there were quite a few really dark moments in Ed Gein's private live with his dug up bodies, bones, skulls, skin, organs, the works, spread across his less-than-humble abod…

Metalstorm:The Destruction of Jared-Syn

A pretty destructive word is often used for director / producers like Charles Band and that is hack. It's an abusive term which describes someone influenced by particular popular mainstream works, seeing an opportunity to cash in on another's materialized vision. But, I think Band genuinely loves the various genres that often are associated with his work and that enthusiasm shows in all of his first films, although most of them are considered terrible, stigmatized as "the worst films ever made." I look at Band as America's version of the Italian filmmakers influenced by the popular United States films such as The Road Warrior, The Terminator, Robo-cop, Star Wars, among others. In Band's Metalstorm:The Destruction of Jared-Syn, I think you can see an amalgam of various genres from The Road Warrior to Star Wars to even 2001:A Space Odyssey(..something at the very end which looks like a homage to the Stargate sequence when Jared Syn escapes into another dimensio…

Eye of the Tiger

A Gary Busey Vigilante Movie pitting him against an army of biker dirtbags for their responsibility in the murder of his wife and trauma of his daughter..if that doesn't give a B-movie action fan a hard-on, nothing will. But, alas, Eye of the Tiger isn't quite the satisfying experience it could've been, and this particular revenge actioner doesn't rise above the obvious cliches that often accompany the genre.

Busey stars as Buck Matthews, a recently parolled convict(..put away behind bars by a corrupt sheriff portrayed by Seymour Cassel, really laying on the slime for this real piece of work)and Vietnam hero, who rescues a nurse from being raped by a pack of biker scum(..they have a reputation for this sort of activity). In retaliation, the biker gang explode through his home, murdering Buck's wife with him severely pummelled and subdued enough where he's unable to save her. Buck's daughter is so traumatized, she's shocked into silence, a kind of self-in…

Seedpeople

I remember when I was a youth, entering a local movie rental(..back in the good old days when my town had four of these and the VHS boom was in full swing)I saw a huge display sign inside for a movie called Seedpeople. That was a memory that returned when I come across it while pursuing the title of another science fiction / horror flick. Like the cover of the poster one often sees circulating the internet for the film, it had the three official monsters you see when watching Seedpeople.


If you are familiar with the little alien monster creature feature series Critters, you might recognize the traveling capability of one of the seed-beasties in Seedpeople for it "tumbles", rolling in a quick speed towards potential victims, before springing open to reveal it's hideous face. One of these creatures actually takes flight while the third crawls across the ground using it's arms(..this was actually protrayed by a performer, in the monster suit, who doesn't have legs). …

Grizzly Park

I was anxious to see if Grizzly Park would follow the typical rules these kinds of movies often do..you know, group of kids, on a camping trip, falling prey to someone or something, one by one, individuals(..or in a duo)seperating from the pack, scurrying off to get high or laid, or whatever, encountering a hostile threat. While Tom Skull's film(..he wrote and directed it) features "disposable teens", dispicable teen scum you yearn to see perish in the worse possible ways, there's a dark humor that runs rampant(..I felt that Skull specifically / deliberately wrote for these characters to be as morally sickening as possible) with a delightful twist I thoroughly enjoyed..a wonderful wink if you will for those who were patient and tolerated these loathesome cretins(..many a product of wealth who committed their deeds for materialistic avarice)for the duration.


The essential, simple plot has these teen felons forced into community service, despite the fact that all of the…

Laserblast

I recently watched a movie produced by Charles Band called Laserblast and realized how much I enjoyed watching Kim Melford's handsome(..yet melancholy)California teenager respond to his attackers by blowing them to smithereens with an alien blast gun. I mean I just reveled in watching this guy blow shit up. It was like the director had an opportunity to live out his wildest dreams, equipped with the proper means to blow up anything he so wished. A mailbox, Star Wars billboard, gas station, cop car, a desert tree, a couple of other sweet rides owned by a bully who continually heckled him(..and Eddie Deezen, was this guy's partner..no shit, Deezen was a fellow bully!), even a hippy giving him a ride. That was a hilarious scene..the way Milford just blasted this guy right out of the driver's seat and through the door! Haha!

I'm currently hung up on the score by Joel Goldsmith and the great Richard Band. I keep going over the opening and closing credits just to hear the sco…